March 31 2003

Trevor Francis

The leaking of a personal letter from Sven Eriksson to Trevor Francis explains much about the England national team's recent form. Jamesey spills the minestrone...

Dear Trevor

Thank-you very much for your advice and assistance in recent times. I always enjoyed our discussions over dinner at La Marina on the Via Veneto, when you were a Sampdoria star and I was an emerging manager at Roma.

Things went well for me in our World Cup 2002 campaign and even Ulrika and Nancy couldn't diminish the nation's expectations in Japan and Korea last year.

As you are well aware, Trevor, I was unjustly reviled for losing the Brazil game because of my alleged lack of passion. Ask Nancy and Ulrika whether I lack passion, eh?

And was it my fault that a pony-tailed tw*t got caught of his line - again? Of course, like you Trevor, I was crucified for not taking advantage of playing against 10 men - nine, I think, in your case recently?

Anyhow, I feel our magnificent victory against Liechtenstein was a vindication that, with your excellent advice, we are back on the right track. For starters, your tip to always claim a terrific and professional result was spot on.

Unreasonable people might carp at a bunch of £60,000 a week prima donnas struggling and indeed being lucky to beat a team of electricians, plumbers and schoolteachers. But I think not, Trevor.

I have also stuck by your advice to always play a big black man up front regardless of form or ability, and to chop and change positions continually, to keep the lads on their toes.

Please join me at the Stadium of Light on Wednesday when we meet World Cup 2002's No 3 team. Turkey. As you will appreciate, despite my support of the Serbian maniac, Mikhailosovic at Lazio, I am no racist.

But let's stuff the kebab-gobbling Moslem swine. A victory would be a triumph for my tactics. A defeat - I am sure you can think up a really good excuse, Trevor?

Yours sincerely

Sven

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