April 25 2003

Trevor Francis

Today, a remembrance service was held at the Selhurst church, St Jasper of the Carrot. The attendance was sparse... the Rev Jamesey officiated and we quote...

Dearly beloved brothers and sisters, we are gathered here to celebrate the departure of the former CPFC manager, Trevor Francis, from the parish of Selhurst.

Can I say that it gave me some misgivings to have to deliver this eulogy. I was prevailed upon to perform a similar rite in 1995 for the soul of one, Alan Smith, at St Smithy of the Noades church.

Then it seemed impossible that Alan Smith's spirit could ever rise again to meet the great redeemer in South Norwood.

But then came the miracle on the banks of the Jordan in the year of our Lord 2000 when Mr Smith rose again, flickered briefly and then returned to the Stygian gloom to eternal damnation.

Football, like ecclesiastical politics, is a funny old game - new chairman, new ballgame - new bishop, new liturgy.

Anyhow brothers and sisters, suffice it to say that it seems unlikely that Trevor Francis will ever pass this way again.

Casting our minds back to the autumn of 2001, let us recall the defection of the one they call Judas Bruce. As a man of the cloth I feel this nomenclature is a little over the top. But what the hell...

Two incomplete seasons are our legacy from Trevor, during which many silver pieces were scattered and little reward reaped. There have been a few blinding revelations ( 2-0 Anfield, 5-0 Brighton, 1-0 Millwall) but these are small beacons in a Sinai desert of mediocrity.

A barren harvest...that must be the judgment of Trevor's tedious and irritating reign at the holy sepulchre of Crystal Palace.

Requiescat in pacem, Trevorius...

Amen

+This article is not intended to be threatening to Trevor Francis. It is, hopefully, a bit of fun.

Email Jamesey with any of your comments to Jevans3704@aol.com

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