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Woosie ![]() |
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This thread deserves it's place in gold talk by far!
They shall not grow old as we who are left grow old. Please visit my blog: [Link] |
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Well that's killed the thread good & proper. Anyone else got any good stories to contribute?
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Yorkie loves CP ![]() |
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As a neeb on the block..ive been slowly making way though the gold talk classics This thread is one of the funniest things i have ever read...never thought i could laugh as much as i did..bloody brill ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
"Ach..away and print yer Sh1te" |
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The details of this story were relayed to me after the event. We go to the red light district and Gary is well-lubricated. He decides he is going to go with a lady and prompty taps on a wiindow and the door is closed behind hiim and the curtains pulled shut. The woman doesn't do refunds and an argument ensues. Gary forces the issue by opening the curtains to the street and commencing a striptease in the womans shop window. Gary is a fat ginger, and certainly no looker. He got his money back after getting to his pants.
Edited by Forest Hillbilly (25 May 2010 9:01am)
"The facts have changed", Rishi Sunak |
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at 16yrs of age i fancied this girl at a disco. I plucked up the courage to ask her for a slow dance and she accepted. I asked her out. She walked off , never to be seen again.
"The facts have changed", Rishi Sunak |
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Don Rogers Tache ![]() |
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Quote Forest Hillbilly at 23 Jun 2010 4:03am
at 16yrs of age i fancied this girl at a disco. I plucked up the courage to ask her for a slow dance and she accepted. I asked her out. She walked off , never to be seen again.
I know you are but what am I? |
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jelholyoake ![]() |
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Quote Don Rogers Tache at 23 Jun 2010 2:24pm
Quote Forest Hillbilly at 23 Jun 2010 4:03am
at 16yrs of age i fancied this girl at a disco. I plucked up the courage to ask her for a slow dance and she accepted. I asked her out. She walked off , never to be seen again.
If your length had anything to do with your height i would say that you were probably 'stabbing' her around her chest area. All women who say no, really mean yes, yes means harder and if they really say no then a rug muncher she is?
When i see him, it's gonna be painful. Skinny little cont. |
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Quote Don Rogers Tache at 23 Jun 2010 2:24pm
Quote Forest Hillbilly at 23 Jun 2010 4:03am
at 16yrs of age i fancied this girl at a disco. I plucked up the courage to ask her for a slow dance and she accepted. I asked her out. She walked off , never to be seen again.
I'm going to raffle your coat at the HOL meet and we'll see your success-rate with women improve markedly.
"The facts have changed", Rishi Sunak |
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Not really a failure, more of a bit of an embarrassment. Was seeing a girl last year for a bit, had been round hers a few times, but hadn't slept with her, and didn't end up sleeping with her actually. Anyway, when at hers once, I was going down on her, getting pretty bored with it so asked if she wanted "to do a 69". She laughed quite a lot at that as she said it sounded as if I was asking for a 99 from the ice cream man. Didn't see her much after that. Not as bad as some of the others I've seen on this thread.
You know what the trouble is Brucie? We used to make shit in this country, build shit. Now we just put our hand in the next guy's pocket. |
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Not really a failure. I went to the British Motorbike GP at Donington in 1990 with a very nice young lady. We arrived on my 750 Honda, parked in a secluded part of the camping field, pitched the tent and got down to business in the in the tent in the missionary position. 2 minutes later i had shot my load. However, i became aware of some laughter behind me and looked over my shoulder to see i had forgotten to shut the tent flaps and there was a truck full of blokes witnessing my efficient performance. I saved the girl embarassment, buy not removing her hood and cuffs until i had ensured the tent was well and truly shut.
"The facts have changed", Rishi Sunak |
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Quote Forest Hillbilly at 26 Jun 2010 12:22pm
pitched the tent and got down to business Is this a euphemism or are you talking about a real tent? Quote Forest Hillbilly at 26 Jun 2010 12:22pm
tent flaps " " "
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Brighton. Last night. Some bar in the Lanes. So I'd finished in the toilet, paid the freshen up man for some gum, walked up to a girl and started talking to her and it was going swimmingly well. 20 minutes later, her friend announced to me and her that my flies had been undone the whole time. Not sure my mate's comment of "well, it's easier access for later" impressed her too much, either. Conversation broke off and she "had to catch up with the rest of her friends". Smooth, Matty, smooth.
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Justin Bieber: the singing amoeba |
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