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"Doctor, I think I'm going deaf!"
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"I've just bought myself a model of Mount Everest."
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chateauferret ![]() |
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"Doctor, I took the suppositories you gave me but they didn't work." "Oh! What happened?" "Nothing. I might as well have stuck them up my arse".
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A guy walks into a chemist's shop and asks for a bar of soap.
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A Brummie walks into a tailors and says, "Alroit mate, I'd like a 70's suit please."
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A spokesperson for Croydon Leisure Centre has just told us that due to the drought and to try and save water, the main swimming pool will be closing lanes 7 and 8 for the rest of the week
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A: Because they are good at navigating bouys.
Touch my coffee and I will slap you so hard even Google won't be able to find you. |
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Q. What were the worst two winters of the 20th century? A. Mike and Bernie
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"Can I join your circus?"
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Something seasonal and cultural (perhaps current favoured topic) Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers,
'Cos tits can be such troublesome things When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow, When I was young I got whistles and hoots, When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters, When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,
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"Doctor, my stomach's getting rather large."
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I got a job making Holes for Water.
"It was a Team effort, I guess it took all players working together to lose this one" |
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