February 6 2003

Liverpool FC

Sean Ingle from the Guardian takes a look at the Press coverage from the great Palace win at Anfield...

So which member of the Daily Mirror's sports desk was an Elnet-spraying, lace-loving New Romantic, then?

Oh come on, it's not much that much of a crime - particular when the sub in question conjures up a classic Visage tune (all right, Visage's only tune) in homage to Julian Gray's performance during Crystal Palace's 2-0 victory over Liverpool last night.

"Goal Shy reds fade to Gray," blazes the headline - no doubt over a catchy synth-dub beat - before writer David Maddocks rips into Liverpool's latest shameuterish performance.

"Michael Owen had four or five clear opportunities to dispel the notion that his confidence has been shattered like the ice that gripped the country last week," he groans. "He didn't take them.

And Maddocks - a close friend of Robbie Fowler - isn't finished there, adding with utter bemusement: "Yet to lay the blame solely at Owen's feet would be incredibly harsh ... because Emile Heskey ran 70 yards without a challenge and then rolled what looked like a back-pass into the arms of the temporary Palace keeper, CEDRIC BERTHELIN."

CEDRIC who? you might ask. Well, ask no more. Because the Daily Mail's John Edwards clearly has his snout close to the lower-league trough - and what he finds doesn't make pleasant reading for Liverpool supporters.

"Lens reserve keeper CEDRIC BERTHELIN was making only his fourth appearance and boasted a pedigree of having failed to make the grade at Second Division Luton," he chirps, gently twisting the knife.

"Palace handed him a short-term contract, despite Luton boss Joe Kinnear being unimpressed with his recent trial."

As for other tabloid FA Cup-related puns, none of them can match the Mirror.

The Mail goes for the formulaic 'Gray leads the coup for Palace'; the Express the dull 'Gray Day' and the Sun - in tribute to Matthew Oakley's two goals against Millwall last night tries a curveball of which a Major League pitcher would be proud: "Oakey Dokey". Which is certainly original, if nothing else.