December 10 2019

Cop That! The Funniest Steve Coppell Quotes

To mark the release of a new book on the funniest quotes by Steve Coppell, we've picked out some of his best.

Palace's finest manager is surprisingly very witty and his sarcastic quips and dry sense of humour make him hilarious to listen to.

As a tribute to the great man, the Holmesdale Online's Gordon Law has compiled his most comical soundbites from the clubs he has managed.

Cop That! is just £5.99 and a perfect stocking filler for any fan of the Palace legend.

Here are some of our favourite...

1. "Attilio Lombardo is starting to pick up a bit of English on the training ground. The first word he learned was ‘w*nker’."

2. "I’ve just introduced NIGEL MARTYN to a clean sheet. The last time he had one Kenneth Wolstenholme was the commentator."

3. "People talk about the prestige of beating records but prestige never bought me dinner in a restaurant. It’s winning games that does that."

4. "Ron Noades took him to Brentford and the closest I get to him now is Ron’s dog, which is named after Hermann [Hreidarsson]. It’s a Rottweiler, which is quite appropriate!"

5. "I’ve just signed another player who doesn’t speak English, so maybe my team talks will make sense now."

6. "The big monster called relegation is there, ready to bite us on the a*se."

7. "Their goal unsettled us, and no matter what you say at half-time, there’s always that little bit of toothache in their minds."

8. "I have often likened a football manager’s life to that of a pimp. You depend on other people for your success and are not in control."

9. "I’m not superstitious but every time [my mother] comes we lose."

10. "I can’t really remember what it was I particularly liked about Kevin [Doyle] when I watched him in Ireland. I had five pints of Guinness in the afternoon and it was all a bit blurred."

Read these and more in Cop That! which is available from Amazon here.