Tha' knows.

Optimistic as ever

In the final year at my junior school our form teacher used a slipper to punish miscreants - usually for something as innocuous as talking out of place. My friends and I kept a league table recording how many times we were slippered and, no kidding, I exceeded 40 separate applications of the said footwear.

Having said that, he did have his favourites who, rather than whacking with the rubber wear, he used place over his knees and gently spank their bottom. You could add a different vowel to "spank" for the effect it was probably having on him.

He was about 60 years old, single, and lived with his aged mother.