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Guide to transfer "news"

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chateauferret Flag 11 Jul 16 10.05pm

"According to reports"

Translation: A bunch of us journos got together and made up this pile of horses*** so that you would click on our websites.

"Close to announcing the signing of ..."

Translation: Please keep coming back to our website and generating advertising revenue for us for a few days, after which this particular bulls*** will vanish like the morning mist.

"(Club) is eyeing some player"

Translation: Here's a player I want to publish bulls*** "articles" about.

"A number of clubs are tracking this player"

Translation: Here are a few clubs I want to publish bulls*** "articles" about.

"Has agreed personal terms"

Translation: Wants more clubs to make offers for him, especially if they happen to be qualified for the Champions' League.

"Has triggered the release clause for this player"

Translation: Is being used by some other club to prise this player away from his present employer.

"Going nowhere"

Translation: Trying to get interest from a "big" club.

"Club record fee"

Translation: King's ransom.

"Desparate to leave"

Translation: Desperate to play in the Champions' League.

"Looking to sell"

Translation: Boracic.

"Does not feature in his plans"

Translation: Was told to f*** off.

"Playmaker"

Translation: Midfielder who thinks the Sun shines out of his arse.

"Rumoured interest"

Translation: We were so short of material that we ended up trawling club web fora for idle speculations that we can dress up as facts.

"Speculation"

Translation: Bulls***.

"Free agent"

Translation: As popular as a sh!teheap in a semiconductor plant.

"Target"

Translation: Player out of their league but worth a bulls*** "article" or two anyway.

"Imminent"

Translation: Please read this bulls*** regularly at least for another day or two.

"Gossip"

Translation: Bollocks.


 


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View HeathMan's Profile HeathMan Flag Purley 11 Jul 16 10.48pm Send a Private Message to HeathMan Holmesdale Online Elite Member Add HeathMan as a friend

Thank you for providing the examples of journalistic jargon.

I can imagine that they also have a good knowledge of rose growing

 

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View MrCParrot's Profile MrCParrot Flag Taunton 11 Jul 16 10.49pm Send a Private Message to MrCParrot Add MrCParrot as a friend

ha ha love it

You missed 'whisper'
New tech bullsh1t to get venture capitalists to pour money into our bullsh1t company

Parrot

 


Mr Cadbury's Parrot says "Hello"

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chateauferret Flag 12 Jul 16 12.39am

"To play down a rumour"

Translation: To try and weasel better offers out of bigger clubs by pretending that a putative buyer has lost interest.

"London outfit", "South London outfit"

Translation: Crystal Palace.

"To want first-team football"

Translation: To think you are too good to have to compete for your selection.

"To catch the eye" (v. irreg. "I catch the eye", "You promote yourself", "He is full of s***" )

Translation: To generate bulls*** news "articles" about oneself in the hope of attracting a lucrative transfer.

"Unimpressive"

Translation: Sh!te.

"Sources"

Translation: Fans.

"Inside information"

See Gossip, above.

"Linked with"

Translation: Not connected with in any way except in my imagination. See rumour, above.

"Fight for one's place"

Translation: Do anything possible to make a s***load of cash without actually playing professional football.


Edited by chateauferret (12 Jul 2016 12.40am)

 


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View crvenaeagle's Profile crvenaeagle Flag 12 Jul 16 5.40am Send a Private Message to crvenaeagle Add crvenaeagle as a friend

"£100 million swoop for Spanish powerhouse!"

Translation: Selling players to make funds, potentially buying Spanish youngster on a 5-year deal, plus all fees and wages exchanged in that 5 year period = exaggerated projected sum for all money exchanged. More likely £65m. Signing fee of youngster actually £12m.

Oh and if you see a picture of Higuain with the headline of "Premier League team in shock deal for THIS Serie A star" the article is actually going to be about Hull getting Guiseppe A, Commonini on loan, with a paragraph at the bottom about how Higuain is going nowhere despite Wenger saying he likes him a few years ago.

Edited by crvenaeagle (12 Jul 2016 5.43am)

Edited by crvenaeagle (12 Jul 2016 5.45am)

 

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chateauferret Flag 12 Jul 16 8.02pm

"Shock transfer"

Translation: F*** me, didn't see that one coming.

"Suspect" (v. irreg. "I suspect", "You are guessing", "He is talking out of his arse" )

Translation: To print the first bulls*** that comes into one's head.


Edited by chateauferret (12 Jul 2016 8.18pm)

 


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