I've been trying to work out a way to enjoy football again

My policy now is to try to take pleasure wherever I can find it.

For example:

I expect England to blow it at the big tournaments.

Why? I can't explain. But I don't want to stress myself out thinking about it. Or get worried about other people's ludicrous theories.

So now, I'm going to pretend that the aim of the game is to win the Qualifying Stage League.

Imagine if we all convinced ourselves that being top of the league was a massive deal. We could get Wembley rocking. I only really go to football for the communal spirt and the fact that alcohol lowers inhibitions and complete strangers will hug each other and sing.

Otherwise, when all is said and done, football is a pretty illogical activity anyway.

(If you go to the cinema, or listen to music, you have to suspend disbelief in order to enjoy it. Why don't we do the same with England matches)

So can we all pretend that the big deal is to win the Qualifying League?

I just want some excitement back in my life. If I have to fake orgasms, so what? It sometimes helps create the mood and spreads happiness.

Get half pissed before the game then after sending the Mrs round her sisters sleep through most of it in the armchair . Wake up just in time for the pundits to tell me how well we played and would have won it had Wayne (Englands greatest goalscorer ) Rooney stuck that one away .

Never mind , onwards and upwards .

And we still need a striker

20 minutes in and quite frankly nothing new to see
Same players
Same rubbish
Come on Sam!

Parrot

Mr Cadbury's Parrot says "Hello"

God this is awful. Boring possession football with no end product. Kane seems to have lost all confidence. Sterling can't control the ball and stone's an accident waiting to happen.

Skrtel sent off for his usual disgusting behaviour. That should've been a straight red for the stamp, not just a second yellow. Thug.

England look the same as in the Euro Slovakia game - same players, same tactics, same sh"te.

Edited by chateauferret (04 Sep 2016 6.20pm)

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The Ferret
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Lallana scores a jammy goal deep, deep into Clattenburg time and now everyone can have a good w*nk and ignore the fact that this was another demonstration of failing to break down a bunch of poor bus-parkers by the worst England side I at least have ever seen.

Edited by chateauferret (04 Sep 2016 6.59pm)

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The Ferret
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