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October 20 2020 10.03pm

Whoops moments

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View PalazioVecchio's Profile PalazioVecchio Flag south pole 09 Aug 20 8.37pm Send a Private Message to PalazioVecchio Add PalazioVecchio as a friend

Originally posted by esox lucius

Few years back I was walking round a remote lake on a blistering hot day looking for new fishing venues, stumbled across a naked couple who had obviously been swimming, she was giving him a BJ, the bloke looked up at me, I said afternoons and kept walking, I donít know who was the most embarrassed.me or him.

Why would he be embarrassed? Did her bobbing head have male pattern baldness ?

 


from the Etihad, Emirates, Molyneux, London Stadium, the Vitality, turf moor & Anfield to Old Trafford.....Raptors on the Road

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View Forest Hillbilly's Profile Forest Hillbilly Flag in a hidey-hole 10 Aug 20 9.30am Send a Private Message to Forest Hillbilly Add Forest Hillbilly as a friend

working as a dustman many years ago, you have to learn to toilet in discrete places.
I once got caught pi$$ing on a house wall by a pensioner householder,...."thanks for collecting my rubbish, but please don't urinate on my house"

loads of other stories from my binman days.

The time a young lady forgot to put her rubbish out from her flat. She was still in her (very short) nightie as she came down the stairs towards me. As the great Leslie Nielsen would have said,..."nice beaver"

 


,.,.,..,

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View mezzer's Profile mezzer Flag Main Stand, Block F, Row 20 seat 1... 10 Aug 20 12.33pm Send a Private Message to mezzer Add mezzer as a friend

I'm not exactly handy but did try to put a new lock on the bathroom door once. Surely that was simple enough?

Having huffed, puffed, and drawn sweat and blood from screwing the screws into what appeared to be a particularly unforgiving wooden door frame, I stood back to admire my handywork which, to be fair, looked quite good.

Satisfaction turned to despair as I went to report and show off my handiwork.

I'd screwed myself into the bathroom.

 


Living down here does have some advantages. At least you can see them cry.

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View BlueJay's Profile BlueJay Flag UK 10 Aug 20 12.37pm Send a Private Message to BlueJay Add BlueJay as a friend

Originally posted by Forest Hillbilly

working as a dustman many years ago, you have to learn to toilet in discrete places.
I once got caught pi$$ing on a house wall by a pensioner householder,...."thanks for collecting my rubbish, but please don't urinate on my house"

Mixed fortunes for the old timer that day . Let's hope their local baker doesn't deliver them a loaf while pinching one off.

 

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View Forest Hillbilly's Profile Forest Hillbilly Flag in a hidey-hole 11 Aug 20 1.01pm Send a Private Message to Forest Hillbilly Add Forest Hillbilly as a friend

I was slightly pI$$ed one night (what a surprise). Parents had gone out for the evening.

I remember locking my sister (me 18yrs, her 11 yrs) into a spare bedroom. The key got jammed when i went to let her out.
She had to climb out the window and drop to a flat roof, then the driveway.
Our parents went mental on their return, and had to drill the lock out.

 


,.,.,..,

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View Forest Hillbilly's Profile Forest Hillbilly Flag in a hidey-hole 11 Aug 20 2.44pm Send a Private Message to Forest Hillbilly Add Forest Hillbilly as a friend

Living in a student hostel, I sleep-walked naked into a fellow (female) students room in the early hours. Her screams awoke the other 8 sleeping members. She told me a few days later "I had nothing to be ashamed of".
I moved out and never spoke to her again.

 


,.,.,..,

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View Forest Hillbilly's Profile Forest Hillbilly Flag in a hidey-hole 11 Aug 20 2.52pm Send a Private Message to Forest Hillbilly Add Forest Hillbilly as a friend

I fell asleep in a brides-to-be house after many beers. I couldn't find the bathroom, so urinated in the kitchen area, but in my confused state couldn't find my way back to my bedroom.

I was found in the early hours of the next morning, asleep naked on the family sofa, by the bride-to-be.

And I was 'Best man'

There is another worser story than this,.....

A really bad one

Edited by Forest Hillbilly (11 Aug 2020 2.54pm)

 


,.,.,..,

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View cryrst's Profile cryrst Online Flag Chatham 11 Aug 20 3.53pm Send a Private Message to cryrst Add cryrst as a friend

Originally posted by Forest Hillbilly

I fell asleep in a brides-to-be house after many beers. I couldn't find the bathroom, so urinated in the kitchen area, but in my confused state couldn't find my way back to my bedroom.

I was found in the early hours of the next morning, asleep naked on the family sofa, by the bride-to-be.

And I was 'Best man'

There is another worser story than this,.....

A really bad one

Edited by Forest Hillbilly (11 Aug 2020 2.54pm)

Yeh! Go on then did she suck your popcorn.

 

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View BlueJay's Profile BlueJay Flag UK 11 Aug 20 4.07pm Send a Private Message to BlueJay Add BlueJay as a friend

Originally posted by Forest Hillbilly

I was slightly pI$$ed one night (what a surprise). Parents had gone out for the evening.

I remember locking my sister (me 18yrs, her 11 yrs) into a spare bedroom. The key got jammed when i went to let her out.
She had to climb out the window and drop to a flat roof, then the driveway.

Our parents went mental on their return, and had to drill the lock out.

As someone who grew up with a younger sister I fail to see that you did anything wrong .

 

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View Forest Hillbilly's Profile Forest Hillbilly Flag in a hidey-hole 11 Aug 20 4.28pm Send a Private Message to Forest Hillbilly Add Forest Hillbilly as a friend

The badder story to come,....

it was very bad.

and it's not the one about the 2 prostitutes on my stag night, which i've already explained.

Edited by Forest Hillbilly (11 Aug 2020 4.30pm)

 


,.,.,..,

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View Forest Hillbilly's Profile Forest Hillbilly Flag in a hidey-hole 11 Aug 20 4.36pm Send a Private Message to Forest Hillbilly Add Forest Hillbilly as a friend

Being Best Man in Wales.,...It is cringworthy,..

Do I have to explain ? in detail ?

 


,.,.,..,

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View cryrst's Profile cryrst Online Flag Chatham 11 Aug 20 5.31pm Send a Private Message to cryrst Add cryrst as a friend

Originally posted by Forest Hillbilly

Being Best Man in Wales.,...It is cringworthy,..

Do I have to explain ? in detail ?

Did it involve marino sheep and wellies

 

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