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June 23 2021 8.45am

Bent pen!s

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View Tom-the-eagle's Profile Tom-the-eagle Flag Croydon 01 Jun 21 8.17pm Send a Private Message to Tom-the-eagle Add Tom-the-eagle as a friend

Just met an old mate for a quick beer who told me that he now has a bent pen!s. Thought he had started following Brighton.

Turns out he has a thing call Peyronie’s disease. Apparently it’s very common.

Anyone in here have this and do you now have to shag sideways?

 


"It feels much better than it ever did, much more sensitive." John Wayne Bobbit

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View Teddy Eagle's Profile Teddy Eagle Flag 01 Jun 21 8.30pm Send a Private Message to Teddy Eagle Add Teddy Eagle as a friend


Thought we’d appointed a Danish manager.

 

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View kingdowieonthewall's Profile kingdowieonthewall Flag glorious Goring by sea 01 Jun 21 9.03pm Send a Private Message to kingdowieonthewall Add kingdowieonthewall as a friend

Originally posted by Tom-the-eagle

Just met an old mate for a quick beer who told me that he now has a bent pen!s. Thought he had started following Brighton.

Turns out he has a thing call Peyronie’s disease. Apparently it’s very common.

Anyone in here have this and do you now have to shag sideways?

a mate of mine had a japenese girlfriend.
he had to shag sideways.

 


Kids,tired of being bothered by your pesky parents?
Then leave home, get a job & pay your own bills, while you still know everything.

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View Palace Old Geezer's Profile Palace Old Geezer Flag Midhurst 01 Jun 21 9.23pm Send a Private Message to Palace Old Geezer Add Palace Old Geezer as a friend

Twas on the good ship Venus, my god you should've seen us,
The figurehead was a whore in bed and the mast was the Captain's bent p****.
etc etc

I seem to remember learning this at school, but can't recall the rest.

 


Dad and I watched games standing on the muddy slope of the Holmesdale Road end. He cheered and I rattled.

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View ex hibitionist's Profile ex hibitionist Flag Hastings 02 Jun 21 9.31am Send a Private Message to ex hibitionist Add ex hibitionist as a friend

reminds me of an old film, but you'd have to change the title slightly to 'The L-Shaped Nob'.

 

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View mr. apollo's Profile mr. apollo Flag Somewhere in Switzerland 02 Jun 21 9.34am Send a Private Message to mr. apollo Add mr. apollo as a friend

Originally posted by Palace Old Geezer

Twas on the good ship Venus, my god you should've seen us,
The figurehead was a whore in bed and the mast was the Captain's bent p****.
etc etc

I seem to remember learning this at school, but can't recall the rest.

On the good ship Venus
By Christ you should have seen us
The figurehead was a whore in bed
Sucking a dead man's p****

The captain's name was Lugger
By Christ he was a bugger
He wasn't fit to shovel s***
From one ship to another

And the second mate was Andy
By Christ he had a dandy
Till they crushed his cock on a jagged rock
For cumming in the brandy

The third mate's name was Morgan
By God he was a gorgon
From half past eight he played till late
Upon the captain's organ

The captain's wife was Mabel
And by God was she able
To give the crew their daily screw
Upon the galley table

The captain's daughter Charlotte
Was born and bred a harlot
Her thighs at night were lily white
By morning they were scarlet

The cabin boy was Kipper
By Christ he was a nipper
He stuffed his ass with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper

The captain's lovely daughter
Liked swimming in the water
Delighted squeals came when some eels
Found her sexual quarters

The cook his name was Freeman
And he was a dirty demon
And he fed the crew on menstrual stew
And hymens fried in semen

And the ship's dog was called Rover
And we turned the poor thing over
And ground and ground that faithful hound
From Teneriff to Dover

When we reached our station
Through skillful navigation
The ship got sunk in a wave of spunk
From too much fornication

On the good ship Venus
By Christ you should have seen us
The figurehead was a whore in bed
Sucking a dead man's p****

You're welcome

 


Glad
All
Over

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View Palace Old Geezer's Profile Palace Old Geezer Flag Midhurst 02 Jun 21 12.03pm Send a Private Message to Palace Old Geezer Add Palace Old Geezer as a friend

Ha ha, thank you so much for that Mr Apollo. Very enlightening!

No wonder I couldn't remember it all. In fact, reading it now, I'm pretty sure I never knew all the verses.

Still, at least my education wasn't entirely wasted.

 


Dad and I watched games standing on the muddy slope of the Holmesdale Road end. He cheered and I rattled.

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View Spiderman's Profile Spiderman Flag Horsham 02 Jun 21 12.15pm Send a Private Message to Spiderman Add Spiderman as a friend

Originally posted by mr. apollo

On the good ship Venus
By Christ you should have seen us
The figurehead was a whore in bed
Sucking a dead man's p****

The captain's name was Lugger
By Christ he was a bugger
He wasn't fit to shovel s***
From one ship to another

And the second mate was Andy
By Christ he had a dandy
Till they crushed his cock on a jagged rock
For cumming in the brandy

The third mate's name was Morgan
By God he was a gorgon
From half past eight he played till late
Upon the captain's organ

The captain's wife was Mabel
And by God was she able
To give the crew their daily screw
Upon the galley table

The captain's daughter Charlotte
Was born and bred a harlot
Her thighs at night were lily white
By morning they were scarlet

The cabin boy was Kipper
By Christ he was a nipper
He stuffed his ass with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper

The captain's lovely daughter
Liked swimming in the water
Delighted squeals came when some eels
Found her sexual quarters

The cook his name was Freeman
And he was a dirty demon
And he fed the crew on menstrual stew
And hymens fried in semen

And the ship's dog was called Rover
And we turned the poor thing over
And ground and ground that faithful hound
From Teneriff to Dover

When we reached our station
Through skillful navigation
The ship got sunk in a wave of spunk
From too much fornication

On the good ship Venus
By Christ you should have seen us
The figurehead was a whore in bed
Sucking a dead man's p****

You're welcome

All boys School education?

 

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View Teddy Eagle's Profile Teddy Eagle Flag 02 Jun 21 12.28pm Send a Private Message to Teddy Eagle Add Teddy Eagle as a friend

Originally posted by mr. apollo

On the good ship Venus
By Christ you should have seen us
The figurehead was a whore in bed
Sucking a dead man's p****

The captain's name was Lugger
By Christ he was a bugger
He wasn't fit to shovel s***
From one ship to another

And the second mate was Andy
By Christ he had a dandy
Till they crushed his cock on a jagged rock
For cumming in the brandy

The third mate's name was Morgan
By God he was a gorgon
From half past eight he played till late
Upon the captain's organ

The captain's wife was Mabel
And by God was she able
To give the crew their daily screw
Upon the galley table

The captain's daughter Charlotte
Was born and bred a harlot
Her thighs at night were lily white
By morning they were scarlet

The cabin boy was Kipper
By Christ he was a nipper
He stuffed his ass with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper

The captain's lovely daughter
Liked swimming in the water
Delighted squeals came when some eels
Found her sexual quarters

The cook his name was Freeman
And he was a dirty demon
And he fed the crew on menstrual stew
And hymens fried in semen

And the ship's dog was called Rover
And we turned the poor thing over
And ground and ground that faithful hound
From Teneriff to Dover

When we reached our station
Through skillful navigation
The ship got sunk in a wave of spunk
From too much fornication

On the good ship Venus
By Christ you should have seen us
The figurehead was a whore in bed
Sucking a dead man's p****

You're welcome

The Sex Pistols did a version of this on the B side of their cover of Something Else. It’s played over the credits in The Great Rock and Roll Swindle.

 

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View JRW2's Profile JRW2 Flag Dulwich 02 Jun 21 2.02pm Send a Private Message to JRW2 Add JRW2 as a friend

Originally posted by mr. apollo


And the second mate was Andy
By Christ he had a dandy
Till they crushed his cock on a jagged rock
For cumming in the brandy

The third mate's name was Morgan
By God he was a gorgon
From half past eight he played till late
Upon the captain's organ


What about the first mate?

The first mate's name was Carter
By God he was a farter
When the wind wouldn't blow and the ship couldn't go
Then Carter the farter would start 'er

 

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View Spiderman's Profile Spiderman Flag Horsham 02 Jun 21 2.10pm Send a Private Message to Spiderman Add Spiderman as a friend

Originally posted by Tom-the-eagle

Just met an old mate for a quick beer who told me that he now has a bent pen!s. Thought he had started following Brighton.

Turns out he has a thing call Peyronie’s disease. Apparently it’s very common.

Anyone in here have this and do you now have to shag sideways?

No idea but I believe the ability to shoot round corners can prove invaluable

 

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View Palace Old Geezer's Profile Palace Old Geezer Flag Midhurst 02 Jun 21 2.18pm Send a Private Message to Palace Old Geezer Add Palace Old Geezer as a friend

Originally posted by Spiderman

No idea but I believe the ability to shoot round corners can prove invaluable

Come again?

 

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