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December 7 2021 9.20am

I say,I say ,I say.....crap joke thread! (LOCKED)

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View Old Chap's Profile Old Chap Flag Orpington 12 Nov 10 10.07am Send a Private Message to Old Chap Add Old Chap as a friend

A beautiful woman went to the gynaecologist..... The doctor took one look at the woman and all his
professionalism flew out the window. He immediately told her to get undressed.

After she disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh.

While doing so he asked her, 'Do you know what I am doing?'

'Yes,' she replied, 'You are checking for abrasions or
Dermatological abnormalities.'

'That's right,' said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. 'Do you know what I am doing now?' he asked.

'Yes,' she said, 'You are checking for lumps which might indicate Breast cancer.'

'Correct,' replied the shady doctor. Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her.

He asked, 'Do you know what I am doing now?'

'Yes,' she said, 'You're getting syphilis: which is why I came here in the first place.'

 


Trivial fact - Palace used to win 5-1 at least once a season, maybe next season?

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View crvenaeagle's Profile crvenaeagle Flag 14 Nov 10 11.41am Send a Private Message to crvenaeagle Add crvenaeagle as a friend

You know people in Dubai don't like The Flintstones.

But people in Abu Dhabi do.

 

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View kent675's Profile kent675 Flag Bromley, Kent 17 Nov 10 10.59am Send a Private Message to kent675 Add kent675 as a friend

I just bought a Christmas tree. The assistant asked "Will you be putting this up yourself?" I replied "No you sick b******. It's going in the living room...."

 


Four wheels drives the body - Two wheels drives the soul

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View Deleagle's Profile Deleagle Flag "Bubba's bar 'n' grill" 19 Nov 10 8.16am Send a Private Message to Deleagle Add Deleagle as a friend

A young Arab boy asked his father:
"What is this weird hat that we are wearing?"
"It's a "chechia",...because, in the desert it protects our
heads from the Sun!"
"And what is this type of clothing that we are wearing ?"
"It's a "djbellah", because the desert is very hot and it
protects your body!"
"And what are these ugly shoes that we have on our feet?"
"These are "babouches", which keep us from burning
our feet when we walk in the desert!"
"Tell me, Papa..." "Yes, my son...?"
"Why are we living in Wolverhampton , and still wearing all
this sh*t...?"

 


What can this strange device be?
When I touch it it gives forth a sound.



Eagles fit fans squad number 21, group 2

- =

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View serial thriller's Profile serial thriller Flag The Promised Land 22 Nov 10 7.41pm Send a Private Message to serial thriller Add serial thriller as a friend

Everyone says that when the Catholic Church first elect a gay pope, they will have really turned a corner, but for me, that time will come when they appoint their first Muslim pope.

 


If punk ever happened I'd be preaching the law, instead of listenin to Lydon lecture BBC4

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View Deleagle's Profile Deleagle Flag "Bubba's bar 'n' grill" 22 Nov 10 9.32pm Send a Private Message to Deleagle Add Deleagle as a friend

There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman.

They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.'

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.

The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.

The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?'

He asks her 'Shall we?'

She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you s*** on its head.'

----------------AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING????

 


What can this strange device be?
When I touch it it gives forth a sound.



Eagles fit fans squad number 21, group 2

- =

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View alaneagle1's Profile alaneagle1 Flag Dunstable,Bedfordshire.England 23 Nov 10 10.12am Send a Private Message to alaneagle1 Add alaneagle1 as a friend

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of TAMPONS and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"

The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either."

 


Palace 13th 2017/18.

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View 17thEagle's Profile 17thEagle Flag 23 Nov 10 11.05pm Send a Private Message to 17thEagle Add 17thEagle as a friend

Got told to hire a European cleaner as they are more efficient,however, the one I got was crap

Turns out she was a Slovak.

 

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View mezzer's Profile mezzer Flag Main Stand, Block F, Row 20 seat 1... 24 Nov 10 11.47am Send a Private Message to mezzer Add mezzer as a friend

Paddy takes his goldfish to the vets.

"What's up Paddy?" says the vet.

"It's my goldfish. I think he's got epilepsy."

"Looks alright to me" says the vet.

"He does now" says Paddy, "but wait till you take him out of the bowl"

 


Living down here does have some advantages. At least you can see them cry.

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View Old Chap's Profile Old Chap Flag Orpington 24 Nov 10 1.12pm Send a Private Message to Old Chap Add Old Chap as a friend

A bloke is out walking, but the weather changes. He gets completely lost on the moors, soaking wet, no idea where he is, wanders for hours.
Eventually sees a light so scrambles his way towards it, eventually arriving at an isolated farm house.
Bangs on the door & an old farmer appears, he begs to be allowed to shelter for the night. Farmer initially refuses but the wife appears and they agree he can sleep on the floor in a back room.
Later that night the farmer feels a bit guilty as there is no heat in the room so goes & asks the lad "would you like to borrow our eiderdown"
"No thanks" says the lad "she's been down twice already"

Boom boom

 


Trivial fact - Palace used to win 5-1 at least once a season, maybe next season?

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Hoof Hearted 25 Nov 10 12.25pm

I'm thinking of setting up a brothel exclusivily for jews with jewish prostitutes and need a catchy name for it.

What do you think about 'The Gash Chamber'.

 

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View palace-bo's Profile palace-bo Flag Bracknell 25 Nov 10 10.02pm Send a Private Message to palace-bo Add palace-bo as a friend

WARNING! There's been a fight in the biscuit tin. A lad called Rocky, hit a Penguin over the head with a Club, tied him to a Wagon Wheel with a Blue Ribbon and made his Breakaway in a Taxi. Police say Rocky was last seen just After Eight in Maryland with a Ginger Nut as a accomplice only known to the police as Rich T. They didn't leave a crumb of evidence, so the Jammie Dodger might get away with it!

 


if at first u dont succeed destroy all evidence that u tried

danjangles (twitter) follow me COME ON YOU EAGLES

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