You know people in Dubai don't like The Flintstones.

But people in Abu Dhabi do.

A young Arab boy asked his father:
"What is this weird hat that we are wearing?"
"It's a "chechia",...because, in the desert it protects our
heads from the Sun!"
"And what is this type of clothing that we are wearing ?"
"It's a "djbellah", because the desert is very hot and it
protects your body!"
"And what are these ugly shoes that we have on our feet?"
"These are "babouches", which keep us from burning
our feet when we walk in the desert!"
"Tell me, Papa..." "Yes, my son...?"
"Why are we living in Wolverhampton , and still wearing all
this sh*t...?"

What can this strange device be?
When I touch it it gives forth a sound.

Eagles fit fans squad number 21, group 2

- =

There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman.

They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.'

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.

The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.

The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?'

He asks her 'Shall we?'

She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you s*** on its head.'

----------------AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING????

What can this strange device be?
When I touch it it gives forth a sound.

Eagles fit fans squad number 21, group 2

- =

Got told to hire a European cleaner as they are more efficient,however, the one I got was crap

Turns out she was a Slovak.

A bloke is out walking, but the weather changes. He gets completely lost on the moors, soaking wet, no idea where he is, wanders for hours.
Eventually sees a light so scrambles his way towards it, eventually arriving at an isolated farm house.
Bangs on the door & an old farmer appears, he begs to be allowed to shelter for the night. Farmer initially refuses but the wife appears and they agree he can sleep on the floor in a back room.
Later that night the farmer feels a bit guilty as there is no heat in the room so goes & asks the lad "would you like to borrow our eiderdown"
"No thanks" says the lad "she's been down twice already"

Boom boom

Trivial fact - Palace used to win 5-1 at least once a season, maybe next season?

WARNING! There's been a fight in the biscuit tin. A lad called Rocky, hit a Penguin over the head with a Club, tied him to a Wagon Wheel with a Blue Ribbon and made his Breakaway in a Taxi. Police say Rocky was last seen just After Eight in Maryland with a Ginger Nut as a accomplice only known to the police as Rich T. They didn't leave a crumb of evidence, so the Jammie Dodger might get away with it!

if at first u dont succeed destroy all evidence that u tried

danjangles (twitter) follow me COME ON YOU EAGLES