December 4 2002

Millwall

A few clean jokes about the Lion cubs from South Bermondsey...

Two Millwall fans bump into each other, and one said:

"Where did you get such a great bike?"

The other replied: "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off her clothes and said 'take what you want'."

The first Millwall fan nodded approvingly: "Good choice" he said: "The clothes wouldn't have fitted."

Q: If you see a Millwall fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?

A: It might be your bicycle.

A source inside Camelot has revealed that a man from New Cross was a recent lottery winner. The lucky man was delighted to announce that he had spent his winnings on a new player for his beloved Millwall. He said: "If my three numbers come up again I'll gladly buy them another!"

Q: What do you call a female Millwall fan with 2 brain cells...?

A: Pregnant.

Mark McGhee is out shopping in town when he sees an old lady struggling with her shopping

MM: Can you manage, love?

Old Lady: F*ck off, you took the job, you're stuck with it

Millwall sign a Bosnian. On his debut he scores a hat-trick and is feted by all. After the match he phones his mum to tell her how it went. She says: I'm glad things are going well for you, son - it's not too good here.

People came to our house and wrecked it, your father was beaten up, your sister raped (as was the dog) and we're feeling pretty bad. I just wish you'd let us stay at home in Bosnia instead of bringing us here with you.

Little Johnny: "Mum I want to be a Millwall season ticket holder when I grow up." Mum: "Make your mind up Johnny - you can't do both."

All these jokes and lots more are available here