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Laugh? I nearly sh*t myself

July 1 2001



Many Palace fans have witnessed some hilarious incidents while at Selhurst Park. Here is a selection...


1. Henry Hughton as stand in keeper diving full length to cut out a low cross and completely missing the ball....

2. Nicky Chatterton kicking the ball against the back of the prostrate John Burridge and the ball ending up in our net...


Standing in the Sainsbury's end for the opposition's corner when we were 1-0 down (can't remember who we were playing but I think it was Grimsby) listening to some bloke laying into John Lacy because he'd scored an own goal (and was just useless), watching John Lacy turn and tell the bloke to f*** Off and give him the finger while the player he was marking just scored a simple tap-in. What good days they were when Mullary was in charge !!!


Vince Hilaire being sent off for Portsmouth, last home game of the season, about 1987 (I think). We always used to beat Portsmouth near the end of the season to help scupper their promotion chances.

This time they needed just a point to go up, and took the whole of the Holmesdale Terrace. The game was heading for the 0-0 draw they needed and their fans were going mental.

Then with five minutes to go, sub John Salako (making about his third appearance) slips the ball under Alan Knight and Wrightie slammed it home (it was probably going in anyway). A couple of minutes later, Vince Hilaire was sent off for kicking Andy Gray.

If I recall correctly, Portsmouth couldn't even get the point they needed in their last game, but whoever could catch them blew it so they went up anyway.


I always remember looking forward to Rudi Hedman coming on. You were guaranteed that he would do something amazing - although it was normally fall over the ball... One of the few Palace players that I can say always made me smile (god, he was bad!!)


vs oldham - about 87/88 - the ball falls perfectly for Bright on the volley, about 10 yards out, with only Andy Goram in front of him.... waddayaknow- he skies it about 40yards!... 'no good with his feet!' come the cries from the palace faithfull...

But as everyone is staring to the heavens waiting for the ball to drop down behind the goal, it somehow sneaks in between Goram and the goal-line on its descent... ending up in the back of the net!... one of the most bizzare goals i've ever witnessed..

Rudi Hedman's a good call - I remember him in his last game for us at Arsenal (1-4)... he came off the bench to play as a winger! but did really well, including a couple of mazy runs past Adams, Winterburn etc..


Liverpool Vs Palace....Worthington Cup Frist Leg...last season.

We sit in Holmesdale block A near the front. The SKY box was directly to our right and Ray Wilkins was sat in view chatting away to the camera. When we scored, It took about 5 minutes worth of chanting various songs b4 he would give us a wave. It was funny when he did.


Does anyone remember a home game against Pompey a couple of seasons ago ? (4-0 to us). Does anyone remember this one.....

This really ugly Pompey guy was getting a lot of abuse from the Holmesdale and had to be restrained by the police for getting a bit excited - both him and other members of his gypo family.

When we went one nil up, he broke down in floods of tears (we're talking torrential here!), which wound us up even more with chants of cheer up ugly.

Two nil down he decided to leave... and walked up the length of the steps in between the Arthur Wait and the Holmesdale rubbing the tears from his eyes all the way... then we broke out with Cheer-ee-oo... Cheerio, Cheerio, Cheerio..... Cheerio, Cheerio, Cheer-eee-ooooo..

Absolute class moment and took my mind off the money I had lost on the hot tip I heard at the bar before the game... Fernando der Ornelas scoring first (remember him?)


Against Birmingham a couple of seasons ago... we were losing 'til the last couple of minutes and, somehow one of their players decides to half bicycle kick the ball into the back of his own net from the half way line!!! Final score was 1-1 I think!

And also end of this season singing: "Do you carry foot and mouth?" to some northern fat pie eating supporter


My dad and I made a trip from Iceland to watch Palace V Birmingham... and Austin's wonderful own goal made the whole trip totally worth it!! hehe


Around 1986-87 when the favourite chant to anyone who missed a sitter was "Son of Aylott" after the dire Trevor. King Trev returned with his next club and immediately blasted over the bar. "SON OF AYLOTT!!" ringing out around the ground. Fantastic!


Thinking I'd shat myself while sitting in the Holmesdale this season. I'd had a heavy night, farted and feared the worst. Turned out the geezer sitting behind had dropped his cupasoup into my chair. So it only looked like I'd followed through.


My dad shouting out to David Burke, calling him a w*nker. Only to have Jim Cannon telling him to watch his language!


About '92, A ginger cat ran on the pitch and somebody shouted "It's Pardew's wig", which seemed funnier at the time than it does as I write it now.

Also, first game of the season about '95, the ball is heading to the touchline for a goalkick at the Holmesdale end and an over-eager ball boy picks the ball up and chucks it back to Nige before it has actually crossed the line, much to the displeasure of the chasing opposition forward who was going to catch it before it went out.

He (someone like Tommy Mooney - it might have been against Oxford) gives the lad a right mouthful and looks as though he is going to thump him until he remembers himself, shakes the boys hand and apologises, giving his hair a friendly ruffle.

The player got stick for the rest of the game and the ball boy got huge cheers everytime the ball came anywhere near him - everyone encouraging him to make another timely intervention. Can anyone help with the details - I'm getting old and vague?

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