My wife and I went to the state fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said

THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ......Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.'

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said

THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week! ..........You could learn a lot from him.'

We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said


THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,'That's once a day ..You could REALLY learn something from this one.'

I looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.'

My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.

Trivial fact - Palace used to win 5-1 at least once a season, maybe next season?

Paddy goes to the doctor with a bad back.

"How did you get it?" asks the Doctor.

"Having sex doggy style!" says Paddy.

"Why not have sex the normal way?" asks Doctor.

"I have" says Paddy "but the dog keeps licking my face!"

When you're dead you don't know you're dead.

It is difficult only for the others.

It's the same when you're stupid.

The government are doing a survey on mens knob sizes and have asked any man with a knob smaller than 3 inches long to fly a white flag with a red cross from their car window.

Yep. And also similar to two flags flying from my car !

Why are black people so tall?
'' because there kneegrows''

Why dont indians play football?
'' because when they get a corner they build a shop''

E I E I O UP THE FOOTBALL LEAGUE WE GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
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Locals are said to be in a state of shock after Police found a stash of guns behind a library in Barnsley yesterday.

A spokesman said "The people of Barnsley are really stunned by this news.......they had no idea that they had a library!" #