Apparantly, Liverpool football club is under investigation by the Inland Revenue for tax evasion.
- they've been claiming for Silver Polish for the past few years.

Touch my coffee and I will slap you so hard even Google won't be able to find you.

The Stones ?

Touch my coffee and I will slap you so hard even Google won't be able to find you.

I'm impressed.
That one made me laugh out loud!

Holmesdale Radio Presenter, Journalist at MailOnline and Sky Sports.
Radio: [Link]
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I had me first cage fight the other day.....................................

F*cking budgie didn't know what hit it!

A woman's dog is drowning in the sea. A passing German tourist dives in, pulls out the dog, resucitates it & saves its life.'Are you a vet' said the woman. 'Vet?' said the German 'Im fukking soaked!'

Four wheels drives the body - Two wheels drives the soul

New Words for 2010

* SALAD DODGER
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

* SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive person.

* TESTICULATING
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

* BLAMESTORMING
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed, and who was responsible.

* SEAGULL MANAGER
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and
then leaves.

* SALMON DAY
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get
screwed and die.

* CUBE FARM
An office filled with cubicles.

* PRAIRIE DOGGING
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and
people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
(This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

* SINBAD
Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

* AEROPLANE BLONDE
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it
to work again.

* OH - NO SECOND
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just
made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').

* GREYHOUND
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

* JOHNNY-NO-STARS
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who
works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges
displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show
their level of training....

* MILLENNIUM DOMES
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from
the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.

* MONKEY BATH
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo!
Aa! Aa! Aa!'.

* MYSTERY BUS
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the
toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so
the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

* TART FUEL
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

* TRAMP STAMP
Tattoo on a female

* PICASSO BUM
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's
got 4 buttocks

Four wheels drives the body - Two wheels drives the soul