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I say,I say ,I say.....crap joke thread! (LOCKED)
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 sa_eagle  Just outside Cape Town 06 May 11 3.40pm |
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I had curried pelican at the local Indian last night. Great meal but the bill was f#cking huge!
Cynic or realist? It's a fine line! |
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| lanzarote ron East Grinstead 08 May 11 10.47pm |
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The government have hinted that there might be another bank holiday for the death of bin laden........
When you're dead you don't know you're dead. It is difficult only for the others. It's the same when you're stupid. |
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Johnny Eagles  berlin 09 May 11 10.55am |
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A rich bloke goes to his solicitor to make a will. "Is it complicated?" he asks. "Not at all," replies the solicitor. "I will handle everything. You just need to answer a couple of questions and then leave it all to me." "You do seem a nice chap," replies the client, "but I was kind of hoping to leave some of it to my wife!"
...we must expand...get more pupils...so that the knowledge will spread... |
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| Hoof Hearted 09 May 11 11.29am | |
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People keep asking me "What's your pet hate?" I always reply "The vet's finger up his bum".
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| Johnny Eagles berlin 10 May 11 12.11pm |
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I bought a self-assembly bed at the weekend. It's rubbish. Took it out the box on Sunday and it's still not done anything.
...we must expand...get more pupils...so that the knowledge will spread... |
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collier row eagle  romford essex via another galaxy 16 May 11 10.28pm |
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Just bought myself a premier league toolbox, but when i opened it, there's no hammers!!!!...o'h please yourselves.
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| Hoof Hearted 17 May 11 10.37am | |
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I bought Kate McCann's new book the other day. I went out to dinner that same evening. Naturally, not wanting to lose the book I took it with me. I got thrown out of Waterstones yesterday for moving Kate McCann's book back into crime fiction.
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| kent675 Bromley, Kent 19 May 11 4.18pm |
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Beyonce has just discovered her father was Roy Castle. She has stated though that she wont be changing her surname.
Four wheels drives the body - Two wheels drives the soul |
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gladeagle  Cavan Eire 22 May 11 2.05pm |
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West Ham are 16/1 to get promoted to the premier league next season,if you dont understand betting odds, this means if you put £10 0n at 16/1....
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| rednblue4eva Norwood 24 May 11 1.01pm |
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Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.. Lets have a look at the evidence:
*No television! *No nude women! *No football! *No pork chops! *No hotdogs! *No burgers! *No beer! *No bacon! *Rags for clothes! *Towels for hats! *Constant wailing from some idiot in a tower! *More than one wife! *More than one mother in law! *You can't shave! *Your wife can't shave! *You can't wash off the smell of donkey! *You wipe your arse with your hand! You cook over burning camel s***! *Your wife is picked by someone else! *Then they tell you that "when you die, it all gets better?
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| Oliver Bodega Bay 24 May 11 11.11pm |
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Imogen Thomas is trying to launch her solo singing career. She has started by doing Giggs in Manchester.
I have prepared one of my own time capsules. I have placed some rather large samples of dynamite, gunpowder and nitroglycerin. My time capsule is set to go off in the year 3000. It will show them what we are really like. |
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| Mr Statto Ifield 26 May 11 2.25pm |
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?
(NB - this is from a friend's 3 year-old)
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That's just the ramblings of a madman 
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