A dad buys a lie detector robot which slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it at dinner.
'Son, where were you today?'
Son says 'at school dad.'
Robot slaps the son!
'Ok, i watched a dvd at my mates!'
'What dvd?'
'Toy story.'
Robot slaps the son again!
'Ok, it was a p***.' cries the son.
'What! When I was your age I didn't know what p*** was' says the dad.
Robot slaps the dad!
Mum laughs 'HaHaHa! He's certainly your son.'
Robot slaps The mum!

What can this strange device be?
When I touch it it gives forth a sound.

Eagles fit fans squad number 21, group 2

- =

The wife suggested I get myself one of those p3nis enlargers....... so I
did....she's 21 and her name's Angela.

Edited by lanzarote ron (16 Aug 2011 2.38pm)

When you're dead you don't know you're dead.

It is difficult only for the others.

It's the same when you're stupid.

A Tennessee State Trooper pulls over a pickup on the Smokey Mountains Highway and says to the driver, 'Got any I.D. ? '

The driver replies 'Bout wut?'

We are the goon squad and we're going to town. Beep Beep!

Police in the Seychelles have recovered the arm of shark attack victim Ian Redmond.
It was identified by a tattoo that said Arsenal for the league 2011/12.
In a statement, Police said not even a shark would swallow that !!!

There's no sun, the shadow of the wizard.......

arsene wenger has blamed poor diet for arsenal's demise...........apparently before their recent trip to old trafford they 8-2 much.

Made in Bromley

A girl came up to me in the club and said, "I haven't had a cock for nearly two weeks now."

I asked her back to my place and we started fooling around.

We got undressed, and that was when I noticed that she still had the scars from the operation......

Trivial fact - Palace used to win 5-1 at least once a season, maybe next season?