We called our dog Willy - can't think why.....

Attachment: Willie.jpg (35.99Kb)

Supporting Crystal Palace since 19.45 on 29th August 1972 (approximately)!

Two Essex Girls,driving through Wales when they drive through Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch, they start arguing about how to spell it. they drive into a fast food restaurant and say to the waitress " could you please tell us how to pronounce the name of where we are, and say it slowly so we can understand it?" The waitress says" Buuurrrrggggeeerrr Kiiiiiinnnnnnngggggg"

What can this strange device be?
When I touch it it gives forth a sound.

Eagles fit fans squad number 21, group 2

- =

Frank Carson dies after choking on unspecified food. Hospital reports suggest it's a cracker.

I was eating my breakfast, when the Mrs walked in, and told me she was leaving me because of my obsession with twitter. I nearly choked, on my #brown.

I was listening to the traffic report on the radio. It said long delays expected on the M25 because of Elaine closure. Women drivers!

Got whacked on the head by a falling book this morning. Only got my shelf to blame.

There was an explosion at a French cheese factory yesterday. All that was left was de brie.

One birthday my parents bought me a pair of flip flops with matchbox cars Sellotaped to the bottom, bloody cheapskates

Lend me a Tenor

31 May to 3 June 2017

John McIntosh Arts Centre
London Oratory School
SW6 1RX

with Superfly in the chorus
[Link]

My mate has taught himself to read braille.
He said it was easy once he got a feel for it.

There's no sun, the shadow of the wizard.......

• The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
• I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
• She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
• A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
• No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
• A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was arrested for littering.
• A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
• Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
• A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
• Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
• Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.’
• I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
• A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
• The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
• The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
• A backward poet writes inverse.
• In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
• When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
• If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
• A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead rac****s. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
• Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'
• Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
• Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
• Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
• There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Supporting Crystal Palace since 19.45 on 29th August 1972 (approximately)!

Q. Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
A. Because if it flew over the bay it would be called a bagel...

well, this is a crap joke thread!

Supporting Crystal Palace since 19.45 on 29th August 1972 (approximately)!