Taken from John Terry's Autobiography,

As a "Celebrity", the first thing I have to do in the morning,
Is deal with my all my hate mail.

But luckily I get it all written by about 12,

Then the rest of the day is mine

Martin Scorcese and Robert de Niro are getting together to make a biopic of the life of Harold Shipman. They're calling it 'The Old Dear Hunter'.

I just got knocked off my bike by a lorry salting the roads.
"FCUK YOU" I screamed, through gritted teeth...

When i see him, it's gonna be painful. Skinny little cont.

This is a true story... [Link]

"A plucky girlfriend took advantage of the leap year to pop the question pitch side in front of nearly 20,000 people.

Bride-to-be Tabatha Lewis asked boyfriend Darren Downer during the half-time break at the game between Brighton & Hove Albion and Millwall.

“I was sick to the stomach with nerves and I was just hoping Darren wouldn’t say no but luckily he said yes quite quickly.

“After Darren said yes, the Brighton fans started cheering but the Millwall fans started chanting ‘you don’t know what you’re doing’."

Aah, football humour! Reminds me of the time after it was reported in the press that Andy Goram (Rangers Goalkeeper) had been diagnosed with a mild form of schizophrenia, fans responded with a chorus of "Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams"!!

Edited by Palacetinian (20 Feb 2012 1.33pm)

Supporting Crystal Palace since 19.45 on 29th August 1972 (approximately)!

Grammar: The difference between knowing your s***, and knowing you’re s***!!

Supporting Crystal Palace since 19.45 on 29th August 1972 (approximately)!

During crowd trouble from Rangers fans at Ibrox
a pound coin was thrown onto the pitch and it has been accepted as a takeover bid.

Touch my coffee and I will slap you so hard even Google won't be able to find you.