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Heard It All Before... (LOCKED)

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Piper Flag BROMLEY 04 Oct 11 12.51pm


True or false?

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View SW2Eagle's Profile SW2Eagle Flag London 04 Oct 11 12.59pm Send a Private Message to SW2Eagle Add SW2Eagle as a friend

Quote Piper at 04 Oct 2011 12.51pm


True or false?


I guess that, if your sex life entails w@nking in a bush down by the training ground, then smoking could prove quite dangerous - especially if it hasn't rained in a while.

Other than that, everyone knows that smoking is cool and women literally throw themselves at you if you're holding a ciggie.

Either way...true.

 


The Three Twerps were one twerp short... again!

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View Horley Eagle's Profile Horley Eagle Flag Somewhere only I know 04 Oct 11 3.08pm Send a Private Message to Horley Eagle Add Horley Eagle as a friend

Quote Piper at 04 Oct 2011 12.51pm


True or false?

That reminds me of a joke that I'm sure you would never have heard of Piptrick. It goes like this:

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
You're too young to smoke!

Great isn't it?

 


Pinch me, I'm dreaming, but if it is don't let me know.

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Piper Flag BROMLEY 05 Oct 11 1.07pm


your smile for the day...

 

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Piper Flag BROMLEY 05 Oct 11 1.08pm


Your smile for the day...

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View the despotic banana's Profile the despotic banana Flag Dept. of Baboon Maintenance 05 Oct 11 1.12pm Send a Private Message to the despotic banana Add the despotic banana as a friend

I preferred your first post, Piper.

 


Ask me about Ronald de Boer.

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View Leecpfc's Profile Leecpfc Flag Praying for love in a lapdance... 05 Oct 11 1.27pm Send a Private Message to Leecpfc Add Leecpfc as a friend

Pip-Pat is Jodie Marsh.

 


Raised on a diet of broken biscuits

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View crystal balls's Profile crystal balls Flag The Garden of Earthly Delights 06 Oct 11 8.33am Send a Private Message to crystal balls Add crystal balls as a friend

Quote Piper at 01 Oct 2011 12.24am

LETTER FROM AMERICA...


MATHS...

We are in trouble... The population of this country is 300 million.

160 million are retired.

That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school.

Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the Federal Government.

Leaving 20 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied
with killing TERRORISTS !

Which leaves 17.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 15.8 million people who work for State and City
Governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are, sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes..

Nice. Real nice.

DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING?!



How was your holiday, Piper?

Meet any nice Irish girls?

 


I used to be immortal

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Piper Flag BROMLEY 06 Oct 11 7.19pm

Quote crystal balls at 06 Oct 2011 8.33am

Quote Piper at 01 Oct 2011 12.24am

LETTER FROM AMERICA...


MATHS...

We are in trouble... The population of this country is 300 million.

160 million are retired.

That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school.

Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the Federal Government.

Leaving 20 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied
with killing TERRORISTS !

Which leaves 17.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 15.8 million people who work for State and City
Governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are, sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes..

Nice. Real nice.

DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING?!



How was your holiday, Piper?

Meet any nice Irish girls?

I haven't been yet, hope to go early in November.

 

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Piper Flag BROMLEY 06 Oct 11 7.22pm


THE GIFT OF THE ALZHEIMER'S...


At 85 years of age, Roger married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old.

Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new, but aged husband, may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected 'knock' on the door.
Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action.
They unite as one, all goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Roger.
Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling.
When the newly weds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, - Roger is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more 'action'. And, once more they enjoy each other.

But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him:
'I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often.
I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once.
You are truly a great lover, Roger.'

Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says:
'You mean I've been in here already?'

The moral of the story:

Don't be afraid of getting old; Alzheimer's can have advantages !

 

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Piper Flag BROMLEY 08 Oct 11 2.36pm


Reality and Fun...

The two faces of China:

From Shanghai, one of the most advanced cities in the world,
to a market place, which would give headaches to any visiting Safety Officers.

 

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View Moose's Profile Moose Flag In the sewer pipe... 10 Oct 11 10.22am Send a Private Message to Moose Add Moose as a friend

Quote Piper at 08 Oct 2011 2.36pm


Reality and Fun...

The two faces of China:

From Shanghai, one of the most advanced cities in the world,
to a market place, which would give headaches to any visiting Safety Officers.


Quite possibly the funniest thing you've ever posted, Piper.

 


Goodness is what you do. Not who you pray to.

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