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I say,I say ,I say.....crap joke thread! (LOCKED)
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 Southampton_Eagle  At the after party 19 May 08 10.51am |
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What's orange & sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
'My dog has no nose'
'How does he smell?'
'Through the open wound on his face!'
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotopus
What do you call an Indian lesbian?
Mingita
What do you call a gay Indian couple?
Ramit & Jamit
Why did the lion get lost?
Cos the Jungilist massive!
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| chollis Dingly Dell 19 May 08 10.55am |
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Doctor doctor I think I'm a dog.
Jump up on the couch and I'll examine you.
Sorry Doc, I'm not allowed on the furniture.
Loverman is a fcuking arsehole.
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| baldockeagle Baldock (via Sutton & Wallington) 19 May 08 11.32am |
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What do you call a fly once you've pulled its wings off ??
A sit.
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| baldockeagle Baldock (via Sutton & Wallington) 19 May 08 11.33am |
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Two flies in a chip shop, which one's the cowboy ??
The one on the range.
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Jake d'Eagle  in the section labelled 'shirts', ... 19 May 08 11.35am |
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A couple of my friends work for a company that makes Digital Radios. I went to their wedding.
The ceremony wasn't all that. But the Reception was FANTASTIC.
Edited by Jake d'Eagle (19 May 2008 11:35am)
Put a Glide in your Stride, and Dip in your Hip,
Come on over to the Mothership, baby
[Link] Transformation is Happening
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| baldockeagle Baldock (via Sutton & Wallington) 19 May 08 11.43am |
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Little boy asks his father where poo comes from.
Father, a bit uncomfortable, says that when we eat things our body soaks up all the good things and what's left comes out of our bottoms as poo.
Little boy, absolutely horrified, asks "What about Tigger??"
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| Dazzling Sutton 19 May 08 12.24pm |
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Two flies sitting on a fanny, which one's the drug addict?
The one sniffing the crack.
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| Dulwichsteve (Another Girl) Another Planet 19 May 08 12.29pm |
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What's red and silly?
A blood clot
My dad used to keep a couple of boozers...me and my brother
I've got jelly in one ear and custard in the other. I think I'm a trifle deaf.
What do you call a man with a number plate on his head?
Reg
What do you call a dead man with a number plate on his head?
X Reg
I'm a sleeping dog, but you can't tell
When I'm on the prowl you'd better run like hell
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Don Rogers Tache  hanging around the local Taco Bell... 19 May 08 12.30pm |
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What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
I know you are but what am I?
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| Dazzling Sutton 19 May 08 12.36pm |
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Quote john_the_eagle at 18 May 2008 7:56pm
What do you call a Deer with no eyes?
No idea.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.
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| DaveTheGnome 19 May 08 12.51pm |
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What do you call a man with no shins?
Tony.
Why did the hairdresser smother a man in pooh?
Because he asked for a number two all over.
Edited by DaveTheGnome (19 May 2008 12:54pm)
Cheers
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| Mr Statto Ifield 19 May 08 12.52pm |
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What do you call a woman with tiles on her head?
Ruth
What do you call a woman with egg & chips on her head?
Cath
What do you call a man with 100 rabbits up his arse?
Warren
What do you call a man with a spade in his head?
Doug
What do you call a man without a spade in his head?
Douglas
What do you call a man with a tree in his head?
Edward
What do you call a man with three trees in his head?
Edward Woodward
 That's just the ramblings of a madman
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| baldockeagle Baldock (via Sutton & Wallington) 19 May 08 2.11pm |
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Why does Edward Woodward have four "D's" in his name.
Otherwise he'd be called Eeee-wahhh woohhh-wahhh.
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| Jake d'Eagle in the section labelled 'shirts', ... 19 May 08 2.32pm |
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What's white and wears Check Trousers?
Rupert The Fridge.
Put a Glide in your Stride, and Dip in your Hip,
Come on over to the Mothership, baby
[Link] Transformation is Happening
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| chollis Dingly Dell 19 May 08 3.09pm |
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I used to own a paper shop.
It blew away.
Loverman is a fcuking arsehole.
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| Jake d'Eagle in the section labelled 'shirts', ... 19 May 08 3.12pm |
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I'm a bi-lingual Illiterate.
I can't read or write in Polish or Russian
Put a Glide in your Stride, and Dip in your Hip,
Come on over to the Mothership, baby
[Link] Transformation is Happening
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eagleeye  The dark side 19 May 08 3.15pm |
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Why do american astronaughts take cocacola on the shuttle with them ???
cos cos with Challenger & Atlantis they had problems with Seven up
Politicaly incorrect..and I don't give a s**t
******************************************************************
Proud to be an Infidel....Can't wait for the next crusade !!!
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| Jake d'Eagle in the section labelled 'shirts', ... 19 May 08 3.18pm |
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What did the slug say to the snail?
Big Issue?
(I'm in my bleedin' element with this thread!)
Put a Glide in your Stride, and Dip in your Hip,
Come on over to the Mothership, baby
[Link] Transformation is Happening
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| dannyh wherever I lay my hat....... 19 May 08 3.44pm |
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Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton,
Its said concentrate on the side.
How do you make a blondes eyes light up,
Shine a torch in her ears.
Whats the first thing that goes through a flies mind when it hits your windscreen.
Its arse
Edited by dannyh (19 May 2008 3:45pm)
"It's not the bullet that's got my name on it that concerns me; it's all them other ones flyin' around marked 'To Whom It May Concern.'"
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| Mr Statto Ifield 19 May 08 3.44pm |
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Quote Jake d'Eagle at 19 May 2008 3:18pm
What did the slug say to the snail?
Big Issue?
(I'm in my bleedin' element with this thread!)
If my dad was still alive you wouldn't see me for dust (so long as he could remember his entire repertoire, which was very extensive)
That's just the ramblings of a madman
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