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I say,I say ,I say.....crap joke thread! (LOCKED)
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 lanzarote ron  East Grinstead 19 May 08 3.53pm |
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I saw a bloke in a cemetery crouching behind a gravestone.
I said "morning"
He said "No just having a s***"
When you're dead you don't know you're dead.
It is difficult only for the others.
It's the same when you're stupid.
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| Amazing36 Croydon 19 May 08 3.59pm |
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What do you call a bloke in a raincoat standing in a cemetery?
Max Bygraves
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| lanzarote ron East Grinstead 19 May 08 4.05pm |
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Q.When Is the worst time to have a heart attack?
A.While playing Charades.
When you're dead you don't know you're dead.
It is difficult only for the others.
It's the same when you're stupid.
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| Southampton_Eagle At the after party 19 May 08 4.10pm |
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Quote lanzarote ron at 19 May 2008 3:53pm
I saw a bloke in a cemetery crouching behind a gravestone.
I said "morning"
He said "No just having a s***"
Hahaha!
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| lanzarote ron East Grinstead 19 May 08 4.11pm |
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Q.What's got 100 balls and fvcks ducks?
A.A twelve bore.
When you're dead you don't know you're dead.
It is difficult only for the others.
It's the same when you're stupid.
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Jake d'Eagle  in the section labelled 'shirts', ... 19 May 08 4.12pm |
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I was in a French Restauarant and there was a fly in the soup. My French isn't very good, so I said "Dans ma potage, il est un mouche"
The waiter said, "Non Monsieur, it is LA Mouche, it's female"
I said, "f*** me you've got good eyesight!"
Put a Glide in your Stride, and Dip in your Hip,
Come on over to the Mothership, baby
[Link] Transformation is Happening
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| lanzarote ron East Grinstead 19 May 08 4.20pm |
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A man says to wife 'I had a wet dream about you last night, I dreamt you got run over by a bus and I pissed myself laughing'
When you're dead you don't know you're dead.
It is difficult only for the others.
It's the same when you're stupid.
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| lanzarote ron East Grinstead 19 May 08 4.21pm |
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Woman walks past a pet shop with a sign reading 'For sale clitoris licking frog'
She goes in and the shopkeeper say's 'Bonjour madame'.
When you're dead you don't know you're dead.
It is difficult only for the others.
It's the same when you're stupid.
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| skatman 19 May 08 4.21pm |
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A man walked into a bar and said 'ouch'
Q.What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
A.Cash and Carry.
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| lanzarote ron East Grinstead 19 May 08 4.23pm |
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Little girl gets lost in Tesco's, security guard asks her 'what's your mum like?' Little girl replies 'Big cocks and vodka'
When you're dead you don't know you're dead.
It is difficult only for the others.
It's the same when you're stupid.
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| Jake d'Eagle in the section labelled 'shirts', ... 19 May 08 4.23pm |
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Last night I went sleepwalking and shot an Elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got in pyjamas I've no idea.
Put a Glide in your Stride, and Dip in your Hip,
Come on over to the Mothership, baby
[Link] Transformation is Happening
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| Southampton_Eagle At the after party 19 May 08 4.23pm |
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What do you call a woman with no legs dragging herself through a strawberry field?
Jammy cnut.
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Don Rogers Tache  hanging around the local Taco Bell... 19 May 08 4.26pm |
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Quote lanzarote ron at 19 May 2008 4:23pm
Little girl gets lost in Tesco's, security guard asks her 'what's your mum like?' Little girl replies 'Big cocks and vodka'
That one's too good for this thread Ron.
I know you are but what am I?
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| kenteagle Lordswood 19 May 08 4.27pm |
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Whats green has six legs & wears a chequered scarf.
Rupert the Snooker Table
About as useful as a sock on a Chicken!
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| Jake d'Eagle in the section labelled 'shirts', ... 19 May 08 4.30pm |
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I wrote a book on Penguins once. I should have used a PC
Put a Glide in your Stride, and Dip in your Hip,
Come on over to the Mothership, baby
[Link] Transformation is Happening
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| Jake d'Eagle in the section labelled 'shirts', ... 19 May 08 4.32pm |
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The invisible man married an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Put a Glide in your Stride, and Dip in your Hip,
Come on over to the Mothership, baby
[Link] Transformation is Happening
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| Jake d'Eagle in the section labelled 'shirts', ... 19 May 08 4.32pm |
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Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
Put a Glide in your Stride, and Dip in your Hip,
Come on over to the Mothership, baby
[Link] Transformation is Happening
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| lanzarote ron East Grinstead 19 May 08 4.33pm |
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A man scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive woman
>>standing alone.
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>>He approached her and asked her name. "My name is Carmen," she told him.
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>>"That's a beautiful name," he said. "Is it a family name?"
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>>"No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like
>>most cars and men."
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>>"What's your name?" she asked.
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>>"Beertits", he replied
When you're dead you don't know you're dead.
It is difficult only for the others.
It's the same when you're stupid.
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| Jake d'Eagle in the section labelled 'shirts', ... 19 May 08 4.33pm |
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A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
Put a Glide in your Stride, and Dip in your Hip,
Come on over to the Mothership, baby
[Link] Transformation is Happening
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| Jake d'Eagle in the section labelled 'shirts', ... 19 May 08 4.34pm |
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I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'"
Put a Glide in your Stride, and Dip in your Hip,
Come on over to the Mothership, baby
[Link] Transformation is Happening
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