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I say,I say,I say......crap joke thread #2
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 Wisbech Eagle  Truro Cornwall 12 Jan 23 4.27pm |
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A national newspaper ran a contest in which their readers had to vote for places they regarded as being "the best for". Like shopping, entertainment, libraries etc, etc. Brighton won a category! It was voted the best place in England to die, because the transition from life to death there is hardly noticeable.
For the avoidance of doubt any comments in response to a previous post are directed to its ideas and not at any, or all, posters personally. |
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| HeathMan Purley 19 Jan 23 10.45am |
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Got a Chinese take out last night and as I got in the car I heard the bag rustle, so looked over and saw a pair of eyes looking out of the top of bag at me, then disappear back inside. I was so scared I nearly said profanities! I looked again, saw the eyes looking out at me then disappear again, so grabbed the bag and ran back into the shop. I asked the guy behind the counter “what the heck was going on?!” he said "you asked for the Peking duck…”
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Zimeagle  Harare 04 Feb 23 11.27am |
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| Zimeagle Harare 14 Feb 23 10.09am |
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Just bought the wife's Valentine's Day treat.........
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| mezzer Main Stand, Block F, Row 20 seat 1... 15 Feb 23 1.22pm |
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It's unusually cold in Argentina right now. In fact, it's bordering on Chile.
Living down here does have some advantages. At least you can see them cry. |
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| Zimeagle Harare 26 Mar 23 3.58pm |
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Managed to have sex for one hour and five minutes last night. I love it when they put the clocks forward.
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| Zimeagle Harare 08 May 23 2.27pm |
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Just bought some Viagra tea bags They don't improve your sex life, but they do stop your biscuits going soft.
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| monkey Sittingbourne,but made in Bromley 03 Jun 23 9.29am |
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I just said to the wife “my bum hole is really burning and I’ve no idea what it is”? She said “ ring sting “ ! I said how the hell will he know ????
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Daddyorc  Atlantic Highlands, NJ 10 Aug 23 10.31pm |
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Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the award? He was outstanding in the field.
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mr. apollo  Somewhere in Switzerland 22 Aug 23 11.00am |
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I entered the “How not to surrender” competition and I won hands down.
Glad All Over |
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| mr. apollo Somewhere in Switzerland 22 Aug 23 11.04am |
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Nationwide must have looked pretty silly when they opened their first branch.
Glad All Over |
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| Palace Old Geezer Midhurst 22 Aug 23 12.14pm |
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Voted the top one-liner at this year's Edinburgh Fringe: "I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah".
Dad and I watched games standing on the muddy slope of the Holmesdale Road end. He cheered and I rattled. |
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