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I say,I say ,I say.....crap joke thread! (LOCKED)

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Mikeybaby 03 Jun 14 2.32pm
I was in town earlier and a man just shouted at me until I answered his multiple-choice questionnaire on Christianity. He scared the b) Jesus out of me...

Mikeybaby

03 Jun 14 2.32pm

I was in town earlier and a man just shouted at me until I answered his multiple-choice questionnaire on Christianity.

He scared the b) Jesus out of me...

moobieman london 04 Jun 14 9.50pm
What do you call a dinosaur with my eyes? Dyou think e sor us lol

moobieman

london 04 Jun 14 9.50pm

What do you call a dinosaur with my eyes?

Dyou think e sor us lol

Icepick Tony Chester 04 Jun 14 9.54pm
Quote moobieman at 04 Jun 2014 9.50pm What do you call a dinosaur with my eyes? Dyou think e sor us lol Hmmmmmm......not sure you've got that one quite right. I know it's crap jokes 'n all but..... "They got his own song 'He's just too good for you', it's quite unbelievable but when you see it and he's facing up someone - I actually feel sorry for them, 'Cos he actually is" - Ian Holloway

Icepick Tony

Chester 04 Jun 14 9.54pm

Quote moobieman at 04 Jun 2014 9.50pm

What do you call a dinosaur with my eyes?

Dyou think e sor us lol

Hmmmmmm......not sure you've got that one quite right. I know it's crap jokes 'n all but.....

"They got his own song 'He's just too good for you', it's quite unbelievable but when you see it and he's facing up someone - I actually feel sorry for them, 'Cos he actually is" - Ian Holloway

Harpo Oxfordshire 05 Jun 14 11.50am
Quote Icepick Tony at 04 Jun 2014 9.54pm Quote moobieman at 04 Jun 2014 9.50pm What do you call a dinosaur with my eyes? Dyou think e sor us lol Hmmmmmm......not sure you've got that one quite right. I know it's crap jokes 'n all but..... Hmmm, it does rather get lost in translation!

Harpo

Oxfordshire 05 Jun 14 11.50am

Quote Icepick Tony at 04 Jun 2014 9.54pm

Quote moobieman at 04 Jun 2014 9.50pm

What do you call a dinosaur with my eyes?

Dyou think e sor us lol

Hmmmmmm......not sure you've got that one quite right. I know it's crap jokes 'n all but.....

Hmmm, it does rather get lost in translation!

Palacetinian Surrey Fam 05 Jun 14 12.13pm
My Korean girlfriend made me a pie from Scratch. I bloody loved that dog, I did! Supporting Crystal Palace since 19.45 on 29th August 1972 (approximately)!

Palacetinian

Surrey Fam 05 Jun 14 12.13pm

My Korean girlfriend made me a pie from Scratch.

I bloody loved that dog, I did!

Supporting Crystal Palace since 19.45 on 29th August 1972 (approximately)!

rednblueblood 22 Jun 14 9.22am
. Attachment: IMG-20140621-WA0000.jpg (27.41Kb) In dog beers I’ve only had one.

rednblueblood 22 Jun 14 9.22am

Attachment: IMG-20140621-WA0000.jpg (27.41Kb)

In dog beers I’ve only had one.

Cannonball High in the Ozarks. 24 Jun 14 5.34pm
On a recent trip to the United States , Tony Blair, Ex. Prime Minister of the UK and now U.N. Middle East Peace Envoy, addressed a major gathering of Native American Indians. He spoke for almost two hours on his success in bringing about a lasting peace settlement amongst the warring nations of the Middle East, likening it to the way that the U.S. Government found a suitable agreement with the North American tribes. At the conclusion of his speech, the crowd presented him with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - Walking Eagle. A very chuffed Tony then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds.. A news reporter later asked one of the Indians how they came to select the new name given to Tony Blair. They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of s*** that it can no longer fly Touch my coffee and I will slap you so hard even Google won't be able to find you.

Cannonball

High in the Ozarks. 24 Jun 14 5.34pm

On a recent trip to the United States , Tony Blair, Ex. Prime Minister of the UK and now U.N. Middle East Peace Envoy, addressed a major gathering of Native American Indians.

He spoke for almost two hours on his success in bringing about a lasting peace settlement amongst the warring nations of the Middle East, likening it to the way that the U.S. Government found a suitable agreement with the North American tribes.

At the conclusion of his speech, the crowd presented him with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - Walking Eagle.

A very chuffed Tony then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds..

A news reporter later asked one of the Indians how they came to select the new name given to Tony Blair. They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of s*** that it can no longer fly

Touch my coffee and I will slap you so hard even Google won't be able to find you.

Hoof Hearted 28 Jun 14 12.34pm
Father Duffy walks into the convent and sees sister rose washing the kitchen floor. He's overcome with desire and pushes her onto the ground. As he's shagging her the Rev Mother comes in. "SISTER ROSE!!!" she roars "Have some respect. Arch your back girl and keep Father Duffy's balls off the wet floor!!"

Hoof Hearted 28 Jun 14 12.34pm

Father Duffy walks into the convent and sees sister rose washing the kitchen floor.

He's overcome with desire and pushes her onto the ground. As he's shagging her the Rev Mother comes in.

"SISTER ROSE!!!" she roars "Have some respect. Arch your back girl and keep Father Duffy's balls off the wet floor!!"

rednblueblood 10 Jul 14 2.34pm
My therapist diagnosed me with being a compulsive liar. Then she sucked my cock. In dog beers I’ve only had one.

rednblueblood 10 Jul 14 2.34pm

My therapist diagnosed me with being a compulsive liar. Then she sucked my cock.

In dog beers I’ve only had one.

Pete53 Hassocks 18 Jul 14 11.32pm
what's brown and sticky? a stick

Pete53

Hassocks 18 Jul 14 11.32pm

what's brown and sticky?

a stick

rednblueblood 19 Jul 14 11.57pm
What's white and stands in a field? A fridge. In dog beers I’ve only had one.

rednblueblood 19 Jul 14 11.57pm

What's white and stands in a field?

A fridge.

In dog beers I’ve only had one.

rednblueblood 23 Jul 14 8.14pm
What do you call a black man flying a plane A pilot ( you racist b******s) In dog beers I’ve only had one.

rednblueblood 23 Jul 14 8.14pm

What do you call a black man flying a plane

A pilot ( you racist b******s)

In dog beers I’ve only had one.

Red-Blue-Yellow Surrey 27 Jul 14 9.23pm
A Photon books into an Hotel. The receptionists asks if he has any luggage. " Oh,no" he replies, "I'm travelling light". I also enjoy posting on: Love Everton Forum, the Acceptable Face of Scouse Football. [Link] twitter.com/LuvEvertonForum Come and give it a look, new members would be lovely. Come and JOIN. Or they'll nick your telly.

Red-Blue-Yellow

Surrey 27 Jul 14 9.23pm

A Photon books into an Hotel.
The receptionists asks if he has any luggage.
" Oh,no" he replies, "I'm travelling light".

I also enjoy posting on: Love Everton Forum, the Acceptable Face of Scouse Football.
[Link]
twitter.com/LuvEvertonForum
Come and give it a look, new members would be lovely.
Come and JOIN.
Or they'll nick your telly.

smudge17 29 Jul 14 11.58am
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

smudge17

29 Jul 14 11.58am

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

smudge17 29 Jul 14 11.59am
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Pick a cod, any cod!

smudge17

29 Jul 14 11.59am

What did the fisherman say to the card magician?
Pick a cod, any cod!

smudge17 29 Jul 14 11.59am
What's stucco? What happens when you step in bubblegummo.

smudge17

29 Jul 14 11.59am

What's stucco?
What happens when you step in bubblegummo.

smudge17 29 Jul 14 11.59am
She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still.

smudge17

29 Jul 14 11.59am

She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still.

smudge17 29 Jul 14 11.59am
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

smudge17

29 Jul 14 11.59am

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

smudge17 29 Jul 14 11.59am
What's the Internet's favorite animal? The lynx.

smudge17

29 Jul 14 11.59am

What's the Internet's favorite animal?
The lynx.

smudge17 29 Jul 14 12.00pm
What is the Karate experts favorite beverage? Kara-tea.

smudge17

29 Jul 14 12.00pm

What is the Karate experts favorite beverage?
Kara-tea.

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