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I say,I say ,I say.....crap joke thread! (LOCKED)
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chollis  Dingly Dell 20 May 08 11.06am |
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Did you hear Handel has teamed up with Hinge and Bracket?
They've reformed The Doors!
Loverman is a fcuking arsehole.
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| chollis Dingly Dell 20 May 08 11.08am |
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I saw a bargain the other day, a TV set for £1.
The only problem was the volume control which was stuck on full.
How can you turn that down?
Loverman is a fcuking arsehole.
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 Pikester Worthing 20 May 08 12.03pm |
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I said to the doctor: "I keep wrapping cling film over my testicles!"
He said "I can clearly see your nuts."
I was at the zoo and this bloke was chatting up a cheetah. i thought he's trying to pull a fast one.
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
You fed me, you bred me, I'll remember your name.
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| Amazing36 Croydon 20 May 08 12.09pm |
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What do you call a bloke standing in between 2 houses?
Ali
What do you call a bloke who has just come out of hospital?
Manuel
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| Dazzling Sutton 20 May 08 12.14pm |
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A man buys his wife a coat made from 2000 hamster skins.
She wore it when they went to Blackpool for the day ...
He couldn't get her off the big wheel.
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| Dazzling Sutton 20 May 08 12.17pm |
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"James, why have you been suspended from school?"
"Because the boy next to me was smoking"
"But if he was smoking, why were you suspended?"
"Because I was the one who set fire to him!"
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| Dazzling Sutton 20 May 08 12.19pm |
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Boy asks his Granny "have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?" Granny replies "f**k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?"
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| baldockeagle Baldock (via Sutton & Wallington) 20 May 08 12.40pm |
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What goes clip-clop, clip-clop, BANG!, clip-clop, clip-clop??
An Amish drive-by shooting.
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| mezzer Main Stand, Block F, Row 20 seat 1... 20 May 08 1.18pm |
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What do you call a bloke with a pound of bacon on his head?
Hamed
What do you call a bloke with two pounds of bacon on his head?
Mohammed
What do you call a bloke with two pounds of bacon on his head and a vibrator up his ar*e?
Sheik Mohammed
Living down here does have some advantages. At least you can see them cry.
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| eagleboi Catford 20 May 08 7.08pm |
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Why was the number 6 scared?
because 7,8,9
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| p.p.palace gt.yarmouth 20 May 08 8.52pm |
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Sorry Im late for school miss, my Dad got burned.
Sorry to hear that, was it serious?
Sure was, they dont f*** about down the crematorium.
There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who cant.
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| lanzarote ron East Grinstead 20 May 08 9.17pm |
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Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
> The man says 'Choose from our range on the wall.'
> She says 'I'll take the red one.'
> The man replies 'That's a fire extinguisher.'
When you're dead you don't know you're dead.
It is difficult only for the others.
It's the same when you're stupid.
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eagleeye  The dark side 20 May 08 11.32pm |
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What do you call an ignorant,arragant frenchman ???
Normal.
  Attachment: s-france.jpg (38.90Kb)
Politicaly incorrect..and I don't give a s**t
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Proud to be an Infidel....Can't wait for the next crusade !!!
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| eagleeye The dark side 20 May 08 11.33pm |
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Quote chollis at 20 May 2008 10:55am
A leper was playing cards with his mates.
Eventually he threw his hand in.
and then his mate laughed his head off
Politicaly incorrect..and I don't give a s**t
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Proud to be an Infidel....Can't wait for the next crusade !!!
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| lanzarote ron East Grinstead 21 May 08 12.06am |
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Another split his sides.
When you're dead you don't know you're dead.
It is difficult only for the others.
It's the same when you're stupid.
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| mezzer Main Stand, Block F, Row 20 seat 1... 21 May 08 10.02am |
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What do you call a leper in the bath?
Porridge
Living down here does have some advantages. At least you can see them cry.
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Johnny Eagles  berlin 21 May 08 12.08pm |
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Quote Dazzling at 19 May 2008 12:36pm
Quote john_the_eagle at 18 May 2008 7:56pm
What do you call a Deer with no eyes?
No idea.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs, shagging another deer?
Still no f*cking idea!
Apologies if already done, too many pages to read through.
...we must expand...get more pupils...so that the knowledge will spread...
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 Cucking Funt Clapham on the Back 21 May 08 12.18pm |
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Got stopped by the police. The officer said, 'would you blow into this bag, sir?'. I said 'why?' and he replied 'because my chips are too hot'.
Wife beating may be socially acceptable in Sheffield, but it is a different matter in Cheltenham
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| Dazzling Sutton 21 May 08 12.41pm |
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What do you call a man walking through a pile of leaves?
Russell.
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| p.p.palace gt.yarmouth 21 May 08 1.04pm |
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"Doctor Doctor, one day I think Im a wigwam, the next day a teepee"
"Your problem is youre too tense"
There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who cant.
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