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February 29 2024 2.23am

Online dating

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View 7mins's Profile 7mins Flag In the bush 11 Mar 17 1.59pm Send a Private Message to 7mins Add 7mins as a friend

I've always enjoyed having dates. So much so, I get bored very quickly in long term relationships. Ive had a few... but rarely do they last more than 6months (very few exceptions).
I've not had any awful dates, but a few strange things have happened recently.
I buy properties, do them up, then move them on. This means I often have a lot of financial paperwork around my place... one date admitted have a "quick glance" at my bank statements, as I left them on my kitchen table ( I was upstairs in the shower). Maybe I'm up tight, but reading someone's mail is totally out of order, I accept it was opened and on my kitchen table, but to have a quick look is totally out of order.

My next problem I've encountered is... who pays.
Should mutually agreed dates be paid for by the man, or is that old fashioned thinking? One woman told me, she is "always willing to pay her way, but always likes it more if the man pays"... she quite clearly wants me to pay. Another woman told me, she finds it passive aggressive/controlling/humiliating if a man pays.
Also, there is a lot of f***ed up women out there. Sex is relative easy to get... but lads... sometimes it just isn't worth it. I went on one date, and the girl invited herself back to mine. We had sex, she initiated it... it wasn't great, but it wasn't terrible. I didn't contact her for 3 days afterwards. Not intentional, just busy... I had to travel up north for a family thing. I get a call, calling me all the names under the sun. Saying I used her... I'm the reason why she doesn't trust men... I explain I've been away, it's only been 3 days... i was planning to call her when back, she tells me not good enough.. hangs up.
A week later, she sends another nasty text, I ignore it. A day later she calls. She seems more reasonable. I explain we had a date Saturday, by Wednesday she has called me horrible names, and slammed the phone down on me, then a week later she sends another insulting communication. I explain (politely) that this isn't the behaviour I look for in a girlfriend. So maybe we should just go our separate ways. She hangs up on me.

Is this to be expected? Do I have to wade thru nutters to find a decent woman that isn't a gold digging/nutjob. Because if it is... I'm gonna tap out.

Maybe I'm too old for all this stuff. It's draining.

 

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View 7mins's Profile 7mins Flag In the bush 11 Mar 17 2.07pm Send a Private Message to 7mins Add 7mins as a friend

I've also had a date with a lady, she tells me how financially screwed she is, and every month is a struggle to pay her rent. She says her kids are now grown up, so doesn't get maintenance for them from ex. I listen to her problems sympathetically... whilst knowing there won't be date No2. I offer her the best advice I can, cut back on non essential financial outlays, pay down debt, maybe do some overtime (she only works 28hours a week). She quite clearly gets the hump. The rest of the date is spent in almost silence. I now only get one word answers.

 

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View Temps's Profile Temps Flag Cronx 11 Mar 17 2.15pm Send a Private Message to Temps Add Temps as a friend

Personally I've been married to the same woman for over 30 years.
I hope your knob falls off you lucky b******!!

 


Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!!

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View Part Time James's Profile Part Time James Flag 11 Mar 17 3.47pm Send a Private Message to Part Time James Add Part Time James as a friend

I met my wife on online dating. I used to love it. It was like flicking through the Argos catalogue only with pictures of women instead of power drills and food mixers.

 




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View PeatlingPalace's Profile PeatlingPalace Flag Peatling Leicestershire, UK 11 Mar 17 4.02pm Send a Private Message to PeatlingPalace Add PeatlingPalace as a friend

Originally posted by Part Time James

I met my wife on online dating. [i]I used to love it. It was like flicking through the Argos catalogue only with pictures of women instead of power drills and food mixers.

I am sure she will be delighted to hear that !

 


When they kick out your front door. How you gonna come ?

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View Southampton_Eagle's Profile Southampton_Eagle Flag At the after party 11 Mar 17 4.11pm Send a Private Message to Southampton_Eagle Add Southampton_Eagle as a friend

All women are batsh*t crazy, regardless of where you pick them up from.

 

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View Slimey Toad's Profile Slimey Toad Flag Karsiyaka, North Cyprus 11 Mar 17 4.21pm Send a Private Message to Slimey Toad Add Slimey Toad as a friend

Originally posted by Part Time James

I met my wife on online dating. I used to love it. It was like flicking through the Argos catalogue only with pictures of women instead of power drills and food mixers.

You should have read Littlewoods. You get down to their underwear browsing their catalogue.

 

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View Michaelawt85's Profile Michaelawt85 Flag Bexley 11 Mar 17 4.40pm Send a Private Message to Michaelawt85 Add Michaelawt85 as a friend

Right. Unless Steph, Becky or miss Smith come along then your not likely to get a female perspective on here about the issues you have raised so here goes...

First of all with regards to who pays for what on a date , first or otherwise. I would go out fully expecting and intending to pay half at the end of the meal on a date. Some men are taken a back by this. Not a date I know but I went to the west ham away game with a few guys and when it was the next round and I went and got the drinks in a couple of them seemed genuinely taken a back that I would have done it and paid . To me it was the most normal thing to do in the world but some people find it strange. All depends on your beliefs and the way you were brought up I think.

With regards to your finances. Be honest with yourself do you talk about your properties, finances , what car you drive , materialistic things a lot . You may do it without realising you do it. If so then whilst the woman was a bit rude looking at your post (you left it out so a bit of advice is probably put something away you don't want seen either accidentally or deliberately) I am very surprised she admitted to it. All women will look or snoop about if they can. If you don't want to attract gold diggers then you really need to think about the signals and vibes you are sending out. It's a two way street.

With regards to the texting thing.. abuse like that is out of order but I believe men and women think differently about sex in general . You might have been busy but it literally takes less than 30 seconds to text someone (even if you were on the loo doing it) to say hi, really enjoyed last night (even if you didn't women like to be complimented / made to feel special) got a lot on this week but looking forward to seeing you again. Or words to that effect . To say absolutely nothing is a bit rude. Sorry

 


When I was a young girl my Mother said to me.. You listen here kid you're CPFC

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View 7mins's Profile 7mins Flag In the bush 11 Mar 17 5.04pm Send a Private Message to 7mins Add 7mins as a friend

Originally posted by Michaelawt85

Right. Unless Steph, Becky or miss Smith come along then your not likely to get a female perspective on here about the issues you have raised so here goes...

First of all with regards to who pays for what on a date , first or otherwise. I would go out fully expecting and intending to pay half at the end of the meal on a date. Some men are taken a back by this. Not a date I know but I went to the west ham away game with a few guys and when it was the next round and I went and got the drinks in a couple of them seemed genuinely taken a back that I would have done it and paid . To me it was the most normal thing to do in the world but some people find it strange. All depends on your beliefs and the way you were brought up I think.

With regards to your finances. Be honest with yourself do you talk about your properties, finances , what car you drive , materialistic things a lot . You may do it without realising you do it. If so then whilst the woman was a bit rude looking at your post (you left it out so a bit of advice is probably put something away you don't want seen either accidentally or deliberately) I am very surprised she admitted to it. All women will look or snoop about if they can. If you don't want to attract gold diggers then you really need to think about the signals and vibes you are sending out. It's a two way street.

With regards to the texting thing.. abuse like that is out of order but I believe men and women think differently about sex in general . You might have been busy but it literally takes less than 30 seconds to text someone (even if you were on the loo doing it) to say hi, really enjoyed last night (even if you didn't women like to be complimented / made to feel special) got a lot on this week but looking forward to seeing you again. Or words to that effect . To say absolutely nothing is a bit rude. Sorry

Many thanks for feedback.

She asked my job, I told her I do up houses. I did mention my car, but only so she would know what car to look out for. After the night we had sex, we had breakfast together and I drove her home. On that drive I told her I was away, and said we'll sort something out when I get back. I am the least materialistic man you'll meet. My car is as important to me as my tumble dryer. I am certainly not going to boast about a VW Lupo.

On the date she was asking about my work. I mentioned dealing with banks were the worst part, that's when she let slip that she had a quick glance at my bank statements. You say all women will snoop, is this true? Because I would never read anyone's private mail, regardless of it being a first date or if I was in a long term relationship. To me, it's inexcusable... but I'm willing to accept I maybe in the minority.

 

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View 7mins's Profile 7mins Flag In the bush 11 Mar 17 5.10pm Send a Private Message to 7mins Add 7mins as a friend

Is not texting someone for three days after one date a bit rude? Could this be a generational thing? I said I'll contact her when I'm back down south, I stuck to that.

You say men are shocked when you pay your fair share, that probably means you're the exception to the rule (otherwise they wouldn't be shocked) I must say 80% of women expect the man to pay in my experience, and the 20% that don't, get offended if you do.

 

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View 7mins's Profile 7mins Flag In the bush 11 Mar 17 5.28pm Send a Private Message to 7mins Add 7mins as a friend

Anyway, another date booked in for Wednesday. Just a quick coffee and a get to know you, almost a pre-date. I have 5 aside Wednesday, so have to shoot off. I'm gonna let Hol decide if I see her again. In fact I might let hol decide all my dating decisions for a month. See if things improve.

 

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chateauferret Flag 11 Mar 17 5.33pm

Originally posted by 7mins

Many thanks for feedback.

She asked my job, I told her I do up houses. I did mention my car, but only so she would know what car to look out for. After the night we had sex, we had breakfast together and I drove her home. On that drive I told her I was away, and said we'll sort something out when I get back. I am the least materialistic man you'll meet. My car is as important to me as my tumble dryer. I am certainly not going to boast about a VW Lupo.

On the date she was asking about my work. I mentioned dealing with banks were the worst part, that's when she let slip that she had a quick glance at my bank statements. You say all women will snoop, is this true? Because I would never read anyone's private mail, regardless of it being a first date or if I was in a long term relationship. To me, it's inexcusable... but I'm willing to accept I maybe in the minority.

Blokes can be just as bad. Apparently there are a lot who think it's normal to send women they hardly know close-ups of their private parts with nor warning or prior discussion, let alone anything resembling a request. HTF that's not an offence I don't know.

 


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The Ferret
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