Odes to pop stars

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nickgusset Shizzlehurst 17 May 10 8.41pm
ode to Keane Like your namesake that whiner Roy your songs they fill me with the opposite of joy those whinnying vocals that piano led pap i'd rather eat a pitta bread full of crap every song you've made is a load of old toot i've hated you since i dropped your piano on me foot (true) Edited by nickgusset (17 May 2010 8:41pm)
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nickgusset

Shizzlehurst 17 May 10 8.41pm

ode to Keane

Like your namesake
that whiner Roy
your songs they fill me
with the opposite of joy

those whinnying vocals
that piano led pap
i'd rather eat a
pitta bread full of crap

every song you've made
is a load of old toot
i've hated you since
i dropped your piano on me foot (true)

Edited by nickgusset (17 May 2010 8:41pm)

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nickgusset Shizzlehurst 17 May 10 8.44pm
ode to the baseballs Mock German rocker boys in a big pink car please drive them jelholyoake away to bar celona
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nickgusset

Shizzlehurst 17 May 10 8.44pm

ode to the baseballs

Mock German rocker boys
in a big pink car
please drive them jelholyoake
away to bar

celona

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DanH SW2 17 May 10 8.45pm
Quote nickgusset at 17 May 2010 8:41pm ode to Keane Like your namesake that whiner Roy your songs they fill me with the opposite of joy those whinnying vocals that piano led pap i'd rather eat a pitta bread full of crap every song you've made is a load of old toot i've hated you since i dropped your piano on me foot (true) Edited by nickgusset (17 May 2010 8:41pm) Haha, that's ruddy superb nick.
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DanH

SW2 17 May 10 8.45pm

Quote nickgusset at 17 May 2010 8:41pm

ode to Keane

Like your namesake
that whiner Roy
your songs they fill me
with the opposite of joy

those whinnying vocals
that piano led pap
i'd rather eat a
pitta bread full of crap

every song you've made
is a load of old toot
i've hated you since
i dropped your piano on me foot (true)

Edited by nickgusset (17 May 2010 8:41pm)

Haha, that's ruddy superb nick.

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Mongo Like Clunge Bumfuck City, Texas 17 May 10 9.25pm
An Ode To Mick Hucknall To your tunes we all rocked and swayed, I fondled Fiona's tits - the ginger who made, My penis hard in public for the very first time, As we danced at the school disco to one of your rhymes. Unfortunately my jeans were too tight to mention, My hard-on looked like it would outlast my pension, But something definitely had me started, I began to get nervous and inevitably farted. The stench filled my partner's ginger nostrils, And from her mouth she began slinging hostiles, Towards my ever-reddening cheeks, Which ended up simply red for weeks. And so ends the fable of Mongo's ginger tit-rub, A lesson for the young and horny man-cubs: Just because Mick Hucknall got you a dance-based erection, You can still crash and burn like Brown in an election. WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Fear not; drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed, to remove the stains.
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Mongo Like Clunge

Bumfuck City, Texas 17 May 10 9.25pm

Send a Private Message to Mongo Like Clunge

An Ode To Mick Hucknall

To your tunes we all rocked and swayed,
I fondled Fiona's tits - the ginger who made,
My penis hard in public for the very first time,
As we danced at the school disco to one of your rhymes.

Unfortunately my jeans were too tight to mention,
My hard-on looked like it would outlast my pension,
But something definitely had me started,
I began to get nervous and inevitably farted.

The stench filled my partner's ginger nostrils,
And from her mouth she began slinging hostiles,
Towards my ever-reddening cheeks,
Which ended up simply red for weeks.

And so ends the fable of Mongo's ginger tit-rub,
A lesson for the young and horny man-cubs:
Just because Mick Hucknall got you a dance-based erection,
You can still crash and burn like Brown in an election.

WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Fear not; drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed, to remove the stains.

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Mr Statto Ifield 20 May 10 10.07am
Quote Mongo Like Clunge at 17 May 2010 9:25pm An Ode To Mick Hucknall To your tunes we all rocked and swayed, I fondled Fiona's tits - the ginger who made, My penis hard in public for the very first time, As we danced at the school disco to one of your rhymes. Unfortunately my jeans were too tight to mention, My hard-on looked like it would outlast my pension, But something definitely had me started, I began to get nervous and inevitably farted. The stench filled my partner's ginger nostrils, And from her mouth she began slinging hostiles, Towards my ever-reddening cheeks, Which ended up simply red for weeks. And so ends the fable of Mongo's ginger tit-rub, A lesson for the young and horny man-cubs: Just because Mick Hucknall got you a dance-based erection, You can still crash and burn like Brown in an election. Another Mongo gem - absolutely brilliant! That's just the ramblings of a madman
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Mr Statto

Ifield 20 May 10 10.07am

Quote Mongo Like Clunge at 17 May 2010 9:25pm

An Ode To Mick Hucknall

To your tunes we all rocked and swayed,
I fondled Fiona's tits - the ginger who made,
My penis hard in public for the very first time,
As we danced at the school disco to one of your rhymes.

Unfortunately my jeans were too tight to mention,
My hard-on looked like it would outlast my pension,
But something definitely had me started,
I began to get nervous and inevitably farted.

The stench filled my partner's ginger nostrils,
And from her mouth she began slinging hostiles,
Towards my ever-reddening cheeks,
Which ended up simply red for weeks.

Another Mongo gem - absolutely brilliant!

That's just the ramblings of a madman

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Kenny Lunt Somewhere a whole lot better than ... 20 May 10 10.55am
My horrificly poor attempt An Ode to Right Said Fred Brothers they are All clad in black plastic Trousers so tight Made them dance like a spastic They thought themselves too sexy but we all knew better Especially of Richard Who loved it up the sh1tter He'd dunk his knob In something other than tea Drove all poofs wild Make them go Deeply Dippy So gay they are Made you think they're from Brighton If DRT had to share a bed with 'em Think he'd leave the light on Since The Beatles, in the US they were the 1st to hit number one Won't you give it a rest, take your string vest And go take it up the bum So thank you East Grinstead for producing these brothers They've been in the business 18 years now Those sh1t motherfcukers!
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Kenny Lunt

Somewhere a whole lot better than ... 20 May 10 10.55am

My horrificly poor attempt

An Ode to Right Said Fred

Brothers they are
All clad in black plastic
Trousers so tight
Made them dance like a spastic

They thought themselves too sexy
but we all knew better
Especially of Richard
Who loved it up the sh1tter

He'd dunk his knob
In something other than tea
Drove all poofs wild
Make them go Deeply Dippy

So gay they are
Made you think they're from Brighton
If DRT had to share a bed with 'em
Think he'd leave the light on

Since The Beatles, in the US
they were the 1st to hit number one
Won't you give it a rest, take your string vest
And go take it up the bum

So thank you East Grinstead
for producing these brothers
They've been in the business 18 years now
Those sh1t motherfcukers!

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Don Rogers Tache hanging around the local Taco Bell... 20 May 10 3.33pm
Brilliant stuff everyone. I love this thread. I know you are but what am I?
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Don Rogers Tache

hanging around the local Taco Bell... 20 May 10 3.33pm

Brilliant stuff everyone.
I love this thread.

I know you are but what am I?

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morganistic 20 May 10 3.48pm
Quote Kenny Lunt at 20 May 2010 10:55am My horrificly poor attempt An Ode to Right Said Fred Brothers they are All clad in black plastic Trousers so tight Made them dance like a spastic They thought themselves too sexy but we all knew better Especially of Richard Who loved it up the sh1tter He'd dunk his knob In something other than tea Drove all poofs wild Make them go Deeply Dippy So gay they are Made you think they're from Brighton If DRT had to share a bed with 'em Think he'd leave the light on Since The Beatles, in the US they were the 1st to hit number one Won't you give it a rest, take your string vest And go take it up the bum So thank you East Grinstead for producing these brothers They've been in the business 18 years now Those sh1t motherfcukers! a mighty fine effort kenny [Link] ''careful Penny - we don't know what we're dealing with here''
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morganistic

20 May 10 3.48pm

Quote Kenny Lunt at 20 May 2010 10:55am

My horrificly poor attempt

An Ode to Right Said Fred

Brothers they are
All clad in black plastic
Trousers so tight
Made them dance like a spastic

They thought themselves too sexy
but we all knew better
Especially of Richard
Who loved it up the sh1tter

He'd dunk his knob
In something other than tea
Drove all poofs wild
Make them go Deeply Dippy

So gay they are
Made you think they're from Brighton
If DRT had to share a bed with 'em
Think he'd leave the light on

Since The Beatles, in the US
they were the 1st to hit number one
Won't you give it a rest, take your string vest
And go take it up the bum

So thank you East Grinstead
for producing these brothers
They've been in the business 18 years now
Those sh1t motherfcukers!

a mighty fine effort kenny

[Link]
''careful Penny - we don't know what we're dealing with here''

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Kenny Lunt Somewhere a whole lot better than ... 20 May 10 3.56pm
Quote morganistic at 20 May 2010 3:48pm Quote Kenny Lunt at 20 May 2010 10:55am My horrificly poor attempt An Ode to Right Said Fred Brothers they are All clad in black plastic Trousers so tight Made them dance like a spastic They thought themselves too sexy but we all knew better Especially of Richard Who loved it up the sh1tter He'd dunk his knob In something other than tea Drove all poofs wild Make them go Deeply Dippy So gay they are Made you think they're from Brighton If DRT had to share a bed with 'em Think he'd leave the light on Since The Beatles, in the US they were the 1st to hit number one Won't you give it a rest, take your string vest And go take it up the bum So thank you East Grinstead for producing these brothers They've been in the business 18 years now Those sh1t motherfcukers! a mighty fine effort kenny From the genius himself....I'm honoured. Thank you x
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Kenny Lunt

Somewhere a whole lot better than ... 20 May 10 3.56pm

Quote morganistic at 20 May 2010 3:48pm

Quote Kenny Lunt at 20 May 2010 10:55am

My horrificly poor attempt

An Ode to Right Said Fred

Brothers they are
All clad in black plastic
Trousers so tight
Made them dance like a spastic

They thought themselves too sexy
but we all knew better
Especially of Richard
Who loved it up the sh1tter

He'd dunk his knob
In something other than tea
Drove all poofs wild
Make them go Deeply Dippy

So gay they are
Made you think they're from Brighton
If DRT had to share a bed with 'em
Think he'd leave the light on

Since The Beatles, in the US
they were the 1st to hit number one
Won't you give it a rest, take your string vest
And go take it up the bum

So thank you East Grinstead
for producing these brothers
They've been in the business 18 years now
Those sh1t motherfcukers!

a mighty fine effort kenny

From the genius himself....I'm honoured. Thank you x

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morganistic 20 May 10 4.01pm
[Link] ''careful Penny - we don't know what we're dealing with here''
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morganistic

20 May 10 4.01pm

[Link]
''careful Penny - we don't know what we're dealing with here''

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Mongo Like Clunge Bumfuck City, Texas 20 May 10 8.01pm
An Ode To The Cheeky Girls O'er the mist of the Top Of The Pops stage, The edge of your buttocks so nearly displayed, By hotpants seeking to get high on crack, Your lips were mumbling as you mimed the track. From my slovenly vantage point I could see, Two Romanian ladies chock-full of glee, But all I could imagine was them in a trunk, Bound and gagged and brimming with spunk. For all their songs were un-heavenly sent, So on to my MP Lembit Opik I went, Perhaps on this issue he could prevent ear blisters, By pretending to love one or more of the sisters. The brutal cad, the unfathomable bounder, Ruined their c*nts with a bat made for rounders, Before he dumped them he stretched them once more, Until their clitorii were nearly scraping the floor. So if you ever wonder why the cheeky girls failed, Why they no longer wear shorts that show off their tails, It's because Lembit Opik had vagi-stretching frolics, With two Cheeky Girls who are now fist-aholics. WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Fear not; drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed, to remove the stains.
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Mongo Like Clunge

Bumfuck City, Texas 20 May 10 8.01pm

An Ode To The Cheeky Girls

O'er the mist of the Top Of The Pops stage,
The edge of your buttocks so nearly displayed,
By hotpants seeking to get high on crack,
Your lips were mumbling as you mimed the track.

From my slovenly vantage point I could see,
Two Romanian ladies chock-full of glee,
But all I could imagine was them in a trunk,
Bound and gagged and brimming with spunk.

For all their songs were un-heavenly sent,
So on to my MP Lembit Opik I went,
Perhaps on this issue he could prevent ear blisters,
By pretending to love one or more of the sisters.

The brutal cad, the unfathomable bounder,
Ruined their c*nts with a bat made for rounders,
Before he dumped them he stretched them once more,
Until their clitorii were nearly scraping the floor.

So if you ever wonder why the cheeky girls failed,
Why they no longer wear shorts that show off their tails,
It's because Lembit Opik had vagi-stretching frolics,
With two Cheeky Girls who are now fist-aholics.

WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Fear not; drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed, to remove the stains.

Alert a moderator to this post

nickgusset Shizzlehurst 20 May 10 8.14pm
Ode to Sam Fox When she sang touch me that slapper sam fox it inspired lots of men to fondle their cox but disappointment was felt by oh so many when she announced to the nation that she preferred fanny.
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nickgusset

Shizzlehurst 20 May 10 8.14pm

Ode to Sam Fox

When she sang touch me
that slapper sam fox
it inspired lots of men
to fondle their cox

but disappointment was felt
by oh so many
when she announced to the nation
that she preferred fanny.

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