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Questions for Brighton fans.

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Don Rogers Tache Flag hanging around the local Taco Bell... 23 Feb 10 2.21pm

Quote The Sash at 23 Feb 2010 2:18pm

A friend of mine has recently gone all 'River Cottage' and bought a small plot of land in Sussex to grow vegetables and raise livestock. Everything is going swimmingly apart from everytime he goes to feed his lovely donkey 'Daisy' someone jumps out of the bushes, holds him up at gunpoint and then robs him of all his values.

Could Lancing BHAa advise on whether this kind of 'Ass Banditry' is commonplace in Sussex ??



Classic!

 


I know you are but what am I?

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Lancing BHA Flag Lancing 23 Feb 10 2.25pm

Quote The Sash at 23 Feb 2010 2:18pm

A friend of mine has recently gone all 'River Cottage' and bought a small plot of land in Sussex to grow vegetables and raise livestock. Everything is going swimmingly apart from everytime he goes to feed his lovely donkey 'Daisy' someone jumps out of the bushes, holds him up at gunpoint and then robs him of all his valuables.

Could Lancing BHA advise on whether this kind of 'Ass Banditry' is commonplace in Sussex ??

Edited by The Sash (23 Feb 2010 2:21pm)


Why don’t you ask DRT? He lives in Sussex.

 

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Don Rogers Tache Flag hanging around the local Taco Bell... 23 Feb 10 2.29pm

Quote Lancing BHA at 23 Feb 2010 2:25pm

Quote The Sash at 23 Feb 2010 2:18pm

A friend of mine has recently gone all 'River Cottage' and bought a small plot of land in Sussex to grow vegetables and raise livestock. Everything is going swimmingly apart from everytime he goes to feed his lovely donkey 'Daisy' someone jumps out of the bushes, holds him up at gunpoint and then robs him of all his valuables.

Could Lancing BHA advise on whether this kind of 'Ass Banditry' is commonplace in Sussex ??

Edited by The Sash (23 Feb 2010 2:21pm)


Why don’t you ask DRT? He lives in Sussex.


I might live there, Lancing but I know nothing of the strange, weird and eerie ways of Sussex folk.

 


I know you are but what am I?

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View Holmesdale Steve's Profile Holmesdale Steve Flag East Grinstead 23 Feb 10 8.24pm Send a Private Message to Holmesdale Steve Add Holmesdale Steve as a friend

Our local art gallery has recently been exhibiting some staues of famous men made out of lard. Unfortunately the air conditioning failed this morning and some of the statues melted in the heat causing large puddles of melted lard on the floor.

I accidently slipped in a puddle of lard and got covered.

Brighton fans, can you suggest the best way to clean man fat out of your ar*e?

 


There's a bloke down my road who walks round in a Tesco's carrier bag. Turns out he is a brighton faggot.

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View The Sash's Profile The Sash Flag Now residing in Epsom - How Posh 23 Feb 10 9.28pm Send a Private Message to The Sash Add The Sash as a friend

My River Cottage friend has called me again with a problem. He wants to collect rain water and is having trouble getting a container large enough to hold it.

He has been told of a shop somewhere on the sea front at Brighton though

Lancing, do you know where my friend would be able to get his hands on a few large butts able to take huge amounts of his liquid in the Brighton area.

Edited by The Sash (23 Feb 2010 9:29pm)

 


As far as the rules go, it's a website not a democracy - Hambo 3/6/2014

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View The Sash's Profile The Sash Flag Now residing in Epsom - How Posh 23 Feb 10 9.34pm Send a Private Message to The Sash Add The Sash as a friend

My River Cottage friednd has again called me with another problem. He would love to grow raspberries, strawberries, peaches, pears, apples and plums.

Unfortunately he doesnt know where to get his hand on any seedlings or cuttings

Would Lancing be able to let him know where he could get his hands a variety of fruits seed

 


As far as the rules go, it's a website not a democracy - Hambo 3/6/2014

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fubar 23 Feb 10 9.55pm

My mate works in a supermarket and last week was helping unload a new delivery of frozen meats. unfortunantly a box dropped and hit him on the head, hospitalising him.

Brighton fans: can you advise how to react when stiff pork sausages are in your face?

 


too far gone.. aint no way back

this post was sponsored by fubar.com

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jelholyoake Flag 23 Feb 10 9.58pm

A donkey called Daisy. Made me roar did that. Good work Sash.

 


When i see him, it's gonna be painful. Skinny little cont.

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View Holmesdale Steve's Profile Holmesdale Steve Flag East Grinstead 23 Feb 10 11.10pm Send a Private Message to Holmesdale Steve Add Holmesdale Steve as a friend

A friend of mine is getting married at the weekend and apparently after the speeches we are going to smoke some big cuban cigars. I have never tried a cigar before and don't want to appear to be amature.

Brighton fans, do you know anything about sucking on a big fat one?

 


There's a bloke down my road who walks round in a Tesco's carrier bag. Turns out he is a brighton faggot.

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View The Sash's Profile The Sash Flag Now residing in Epsom - How Posh 24 Feb 10 2.53pm Send a Private Message to The Sash Add The Sash as a friend

A friend of mine has just opened a restaurant within spitting distance of the new Brighton ground in Falmer.

Its very much along the lines of Nandos and will specialise in chicken dishes- he is very excited obviously.

He wants to do a variety of dishes and is looking to cook them in a way to impart a lovely slow cooked woody flavour into the meat. Trouble is finding a suitable oven to do this, he would rather hire one as he hasnt really the funds to buy outright.

Lancing, any ideas where he could find a low rent cock smoker anywhere near your new ground ?

Edited by The Sash (24 Feb 2010 3:17pm)

 


As far as the rules go, it's a website not a democracy - Hambo 3/6/2014

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View The Sash's Profile The Sash Flag Now residing in Epsom - How Posh 24 Feb 10 3.08pm Send a Private Message to The Sash Add The Sash as a friend

Advice needed. After a few too many a friend of mine got into an arguement with the owner of his local kebab shop in Brighton.

My friend wanted a chicken skewer but the adolescent, hot and flustered foriegner serving tried to pull a fast one by putting one of the less expensive ham ones on the grill and pass it off to my drunken friend

To cut a long story short my friend realised, refused to pay and the owner grabbed the metal skewer with the cooked meat still smoking, and threatened my friend with it, dangerously in my opinion, as he waved it very near to his head

Lancing, If a sweaty teenage Turkish boy waves a pork sword in your face in a provocative manner - Should you report him to the police ???


Edited by The Sash (24 Feb 2010 3:16pm)

 


As far as the rules go, it's a website not a democracy - Hambo 3/6/2014

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View The Sash's Profile The Sash Flag Now residing in Epsom - How Posh 25 Feb 10 10.50pm Send a Private Message to The Sash Add The Sash as a friend

I see the Labour MP for Normanton and Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families has discovered he has a secret French half brother, living in the Brighton area who coincidentally has the same first name as Arsenal manager Mr Wenger.

I wonder if Lancing has seen a lot of Arsene Balls hanging out in Brighton ??

 


As far as the rules go, it's a website not a democracy - Hambo 3/6/2014

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