I generally like Christmas, but I am really good at gift buying too. All year round I make mental notes about what people have said they like or what they have posted on Facebook etc, so I never have to ask anyone what they want. Then people say to me "What do you want? We have no idea what to get you". Basically the same story as yours, although I don't end up with crap, I just get annoyed that I have to help them when I am probably the most open book you could possibly meet.

I never used to forget delectable bosoms !!!!

Fairly recently I head some young chap remark "She has some form" - Not sure if this was a comment about the lady's sexual activities or about parts of her anatomy.

All change from my day and the old "Do you come here often ? " line in a disco or bar.

If she's a keeper find out what she's doing tomorrow because Mandanda's still not fit.

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The Ferret
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Ah guys!!! have to agree with Steph...most ladies shouldnt expect you to buy her a drink..yeah its nice that you do but the majority of blokes nowadays chuck it in your face if they dont get what they want end of the night and they`ve paid for everything, so least a girl can have the back up of hey i paid for half of it!!! (method in our madness)
Cars etc yawn yawn....most ladies dont care what you have as long as she doesnt have to totter around in painful high heels which we are usually wearing to impress a first date after slobbing in trainers all week and not coz we actually enjoy wearing them, so as long as it has wheels and gets us from A to B we really dont care, though quad bikes pushbikes etc are a no no for a first date..maybe a second but never the first lol.
Reading mail...mmmmm a no no, but then women are nosey...its how we learn about men...we are like the CIA...if we can pin sommat on you when it all goes wrong we will lmao, but i personally wouldnt have opened mail as id probably have got caught in the process as im useless at looking inoccent if caught in the act.
Rules to dating and finding perfect gal, dont mention what you earn, dont boast about flash car or house and defo a no no talking about past exes..that will eliminate the gold diggers. If she still comes back when she thinks youre skint and drive a banger then she is probably Miss right.....if you mention the footy and she yawns and changes the subject then its easy...dump her!!!!

I think I'm done with Internet dating. It's full of married men (so the women tell me) and women after a guy to pay for stuff.

What did she actually say?

When I was a young girl my Mother said to me.. You listen here kid you're CPFC

She said, "You should take me away somewhere nice, I have Easter off"
I said "where can we go for just a few days?"

***at this point I had no idea she wanted me to pay***

She then said "just book somewhere, I don't want to know where you're taking me, I want it to be a total surprise"

She phoned me today on her break from work. She said she told her work colleague that I was taking her away, and her work colleague said she was "soooo lucky"

Disclaimer: I haven't agreed to take her away, and I'm not going to.

Anyone got a exit strategy (viable or just funny)

I don't boast about what I earn, I buy n sell properties, it's hard graft... and I do okay financially. I'm guessing she thinks property developer, (which I'm not, I do one property at a time) and thinks ££££

Has she ever been under a patio before? That'd definitely be a surprise and you should make sure you remember what her face looks like when the spade hits her on the head.

James had a girlfriend fake her own death once. You could try that..

Or say that weekend you've just realised it's your weekend for community service.

Or your probation officer / the police won't allow you to leave London let alone the country..

Or you have been arrested and bailed and had to surrender your passport

When I was a young girl my Mother said to me.. You listen here kid you're CPFC