Emyrev  09 May 09 9.15pm |
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There was a English bloke, a Korean bloke and a Scottish bloke all working for the same building company.
At the start of the day the foreman comes out and says to the English bloke, "You're in charge of the cement."
Then he said to the Scottish bloke, "You're in charge of the gravel."
Then he said to the Korean bloke, "You're in charge of the supplies."
"I'm gonna be back at the end of the day to check on your work. It better be good or you're sacked." The foreman said.
So they all go off to go get their work done.
At the end of the day, the boss comes back to check on their work. He looks at the pile of cement and goes, "That'll do," to the English bloke.
Then he looks at the pile of gravel and says, "Not bad at all," to the Scottish bloke.
Having failed to notice the other worker he asks, "Where the hell is the Korean bloke?"
Suddenly, the Korean bloke jumps out from behind the big pile of cement and shouts, " SUPPLIES!"
Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Two Welshmen chatting away in their local: "What's wrong Dewi? You don't look 'appy this morning."
"It's the bloody wife: she's blinkin' keeping me awake at night dreaming of this driving test she's going to be taking next week the cow. Every single night she grabs hold of my dick and shakes it around like a blinkin' gear stick. She nearly ripped my bell-end off the other day when she went into reverse."
"I've got a great idea Dewi. Next time she starts doing it, flip her over and stick it up her ringpiece -maybe that will stop her from doing it."
That night, Dewi feels his wife clenching his privates so does as his mate suggested, turns her over sticks it up her butt.
"£10 worth of unleaded, please." she says.
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 Clint Hill  Bromley 10 May 09 9.18pm |
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What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
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| Clint Hill Bromley 10 May 09 9.44pm |
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A man says to his mate, "I've been taking steroids and I've grown an extra cock!"
His mate says, "Anabolic?"
He replies, "No, just a cock"
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Don Rogers Tache  hanging around the local Taco Bell... 11 May 09 9.49am |
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I went for a job at a blacksmith's the other day.The blacksmith asked me if I had any experience shoeing horses.I told him I hadn't but I once told a donkey to fark off!!!
I know you are but what am I?
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| Clint Hill Bromley 11 May 09 3.16pm |
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whats the difference between arsenal and ledley king?
ledley king has beat someone this week.
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| monkey Sittingbourne,but made in Bromley 15 May 09 8.30pm |
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A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man.
"I don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"Oh, please come to my house!"
"But sir, I have a wife and four children..."
"Bring them along!" the rich man said.
They all climbed into the limo. Once underway, the poor fellow said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in."
The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall
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| Clint Hill Bromley 22 May 09 5.53pm |
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whats the difference between an in-law and an out-law?
outlaws are wanted
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mr. apollo  Somewhere in Switzerland 29 May 09 2.17pm |
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In deference to The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness, it was announced today that the local climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as English Weather.
Rather than offend a sizable portion of the population, it will now be referred to as Muslim Weather.
In other words - partly Sunni, but mostly Shi'ite.
Glad
All
Over
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Johnny Eagles  berlin 29 May 09 3.09pm |
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Why does Dr Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife's dead.
...we must expand...get more pupils...so that the knowledge will spread...
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| Johnny Eagles berlin 29 May 09 3.10pm |
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What will Postman Pat be called when he retires?
Pat.
What will Postman Pat be called when he retired abroad?
Ex-Pat.
...we must expand...get more pupils...so that the knowledge will spread...
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| Johnny Eagles berlin 29 May 09 3.12pm |
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There's this Marxist I know, he only ever drinks herbal tea.
When I asked him why, he said, "Property is theft."
...we must expand...get more pupils...so that the knowledge will spread...
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| Johnny Eagles berlin 29 May 09 3.12pm |
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Buddhist goes up to a hot dog stand and says, "One with everything."
...we must expand...get more pupils...so that the knowledge will spread...
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| Don Rogers Tache hanging around the local Taco Bell... 05 Jun 09 12.14am |
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Why do dogs run to the door when the door bell goes and it is never,ever for them?
I know you are but what am I?
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| Don Rogers Tache hanging around the local Taco Bell... 13 Jun 09 12.42am |
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Three cheers for rap music..
Hip hop.....
I know you are but what am I?
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| Cpfcfly Horsham 15 Jun 09 4.38pm |
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A hooker promised to me that she was female.
It didn't feel like it.
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Cookie The Eagle  Norfolk in Chance 15 Jun 09 8.32pm |
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The thing that Nick Griffin hated the most about being egged was that they didn't separate the whites.
Twitter:
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| Johnny Eagles berlin 16 Jun 09 10.47am |
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On his deathbed, my Grandad gave me some sound advice.
He said, "it's worth spending money on good speakers."
...we must expand...get more pupils...so that the knowledge will spread...
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| Johnny Eagles berlin 16 Jun 09 10.50am |
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I was in a shop this morning when a dwarf got pickpocketed. I thought, "how can anyone stoop so low?"
...we must expand...get more pupils...so that the knowledge will spread...
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Jake d'Eagle  in the section labelled 'shirts', ... 16 Jun 09 4.00pm |
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How many Tectonic plates does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two.
Put a Glide in your Stride, and Dip in your Hip,
Come on over to the Mothership, baby
[Link] Transformation is Happening
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| Don Rogers Tache hanging around the local Taco Bell... 16 Jun 09 7.03pm |
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What do you get if you cross a big passenger plane with an accountant?
A boring 747.
I know you are but what am I?
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