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June 16 2019 5.55pm

I say,I say,I say......crap joke thread #2

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View monkey's Profile monkey Flag 23 Aug 18 6.34pm Send a Private Message to monkey Add monkey as a friend

Originally posted by Pete53

Q. What were the worst two winters of the 20th century?

A. Mike and Bernie

Whooooooosh!! The sound of that one going straight over the youngsters heads

 

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View monkey's Profile monkey Flag 23 Aug 18 6.36pm Send a Private Message to monkey Add monkey as a friend

I once thought I had a Japanese friend

But it was just my imagine Asian

 

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View BudgiesBeak's Profile BudgiesBeak Flag London 24 Aug 18 3.38pm Send a Private Message to BudgiesBeak Add BudgiesBeak as a friend

I told my mother I've got this dead bee in my sink. I asked her what I should do. She said "Get a spoon, put it in the toilet and pull the chain". Then I said "Done that, now what should I do with the bee?"

 

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View monkey's Profile monkey Flag 25 Aug 18 5.37pm Send a Private Message to monkey Add monkey as a friend

My Grandad was a baker in the Army!!

He went in all buns glazing!!

 

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View Midlands Eagle's Profile Midlands Eagle Flag 25 Aug 18 6.42pm Send a Private Message to Midlands Eagle Add Midlands Eagle as a friend

Originally posted by BudgiesBeak

I told my mother I've got this dead bee in my sink. I asked her what I should do. She said "Get a spoon, put it in the toilet and pull the chain". Then I said "Done that, now what should I do with the bee?"

"Pull the chain" That shows how old that joke is

 

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View Park Road's Profile Park Road Flag 26 Aug 18 7.53am Send a Private Message to Park Road Add Park Road as a friend

When on holiday, how do you find the best LSD hotspots?...
TripAdvisor

 

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View Badger11's Profile Badger11 Flag Beckenham 26 Aug 18 8.26am Send a Private Message to Badger11 Add Badger11 as a friend

Originally posted by Park Road

When on holiday, how do you find the best LSD hotspots?...
TripAdvisor

When I die I want to go like my Grandad, peaceful in his sleep... Not kicking and screaming like his passengers.

 


One more point

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View BudgiesBeak's Profile BudgiesBeak Flag London 26 Aug 18 11.15am Send a Private Message to BudgiesBeak Add BudgiesBeak as a friend

Anyone know how to cancel an eBay bid? I've just bid on a Mickey Mouse outfit, and I'm now 10 minutes away from owning Brighton & Hove Albion Football Club.

 

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View monkey's Profile monkey Flag 26 Aug 18 6.09pm Send a Private Message to monkey Add monkey as a friend

Woman goes to the Doctors and says

"I'm getting too much discharge".

Doctor says

"Pop your knickers off and slip onto the bed".

He puts on his latex gloves and applies 3 fingers into her v*****.

"How does that feel?" he asks.

"f***ing lovely" she replies

"But the discharge is in my ear!"

 

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View Cucking Funt's Profile Cucking Funt Flag The toppermost of the poppermost 31 Aug 18 1.31pm Send a Private Message to Cucking Funt Add Cucking Funt as a friend

Arthur Smith delivers an absolute belter. Very NSFW.

[Link]

 


Wife beating may be socially acceptable in Sheffield, but it is a different matter in Cheltenham

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View Park Road's Profile Park Road Flag 06 Sep 18 12.08pm Send a Private Message to Park Road Add Park Road as a friend

What do you call a cheap circumcision
A rip-off.

 

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chateauferret Flag 06 Sep 18 9.50pm

What do you call two accordions in a skip?

A start.

 


============
The Ferret
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