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Edited by Deleagle (27 Jun 2008 9:17pm)

What can this strange device be?
When I touch it it gives forth a sound.

Eagles fit fans squad number 21, group 2

- =

There were once three people called f*** off, s***, and Manners . They were all related since they were all brothers.
One day s*** got flattened by a train, so manners started to sweep him up. Then, a policeman came up to f*** off and said, "What is your name?"
f*** off replied: "f*** off."
The policeman said, "Now really! Please, I only need your name. What is it?"
f*** off said simply: "f*** off."
The police started to angry at this point. "Just say your name and I'll f*** off!" he hissed. "What is your name?"
"f*** off."
The policeman got very frustrated here. He glared at f*** off and asked: "Where is your manners?"
"Sweeping up s***."

.

Latest result just in from Scottish league division 2......East Fife 4
Forfar 5.....
....so far!

I know you are but what am I?

I've had too much to drink so I must tell you that Forfar in Scottish div3. Well everyone always spoils my jokes...

What's worse than a bull in a china shop?

A Hedgehog in a condom factory!

don't you just hate it when people write things they think are really clever here?

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that, in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

So, a student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la Computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

Trivial fact - Palace used to win 5-1 at least once a season, maybe next season?

Two blokes strolling in the everglade swamps,infested with crocs.Came across a bloke with just his head sticking out a crocs mouth,one bloke nudges the other and says"look at that flash b*****d hes got a Lacost sleeping bag.

South London born and bred
red and blue till im dead.