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May 20 2024 12.52am

I say,I say ,I say.....crap joke thread! (LOCKED)

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View TomThePalaceFanatic's Profile TomThePalaceFanatic Flag 26 Oct 09 5.40pm Send a Private Message to TomThePalaceFanatic Add TomThePalaceFanatic as a friend

A man went to a VD clinic and said to the doctor
"Doctor, you've got to help me. I'm so worried because my dik is covered in cocunut and liquorice!"
So the doctor asks
"What on earth have you been up to?"
"F*cking Allsorts!!!"

 

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View Johnny Eagles's Profile Johnny Eagles Flag berlin 28 Oct 09 4.21pm Send a Private Message to Johnny Eagles Add Johnny Eagles as a friend

A hole has been illegally drilled in the wall of a nudist camp.

Police are looking into it.

 


...we must expand...get more pupils...so that the knowledge will spread...

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View Johnny Eagles's Profile Johnny Eagles Flag berlin 28 Oct 09 4.22pm Send a Private Message to Johnny Eagles Add Johnny Eagles as a friend

Two hats hanging on a hat rack in a hallway.

One hat says to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

 


...we must expand...get more pupils...so that the knowledge will spread...

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kenners38 Flag Sydenham Village 28 Oct 09 4.23pm

Why do elephants paint there toe nails red

So they can hide in Cherry trees

 


In days of old,when men were bold
And women were never invented
Men drilled holes in telegraph poles
And madethemselves contented.

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kenners38 Flag Sydenham Village 28 Oct 09 4.24pm

Why have snakes got flat heads

Coz they didnt see the elephants getting out of the Cherry trees

 


In days of old,when men were bold
And women were never invented
Men drilled holes in telegraph poles
And madethemselves contented.

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View The Sash's Profile The Sash Flag Now residing in Epsom - How Posh 02 Nov 09 3.41pm Send a Private Message to The Sash Add The Sash as a friend

An inflatable boy at an inflatable school is sent to see the inflatable headmaster because its been rumoured that he is carrying a blade to school.

'Turn out your pockets' says the inflatable head

With that the inflatable yoot draws out a 6 inch blade and stabs the headmaster, then drives the knive into the wall then himself.

'Well Smith' says the rapidily deflating headmaster

'This time you have not just let me and the whole school down - worst of all you've let yourself down'..

Ill get me coat

 


As far as the rules go, it's a website not a democracy - Hambo 3/6/2014

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View kent675's Profile kent675 Flag Bromley, Kent 16 Nov 09 8.47am Send a Private Message to kent675 Add kent675 as a friend

This post has been merged from a topic called 'Paddy at school' by Cucking Funt

Teacher: If i gave you 2 rabbits another 2 rabbits and another 2 rabbits, how many will you have?
Paddy: Seven sir
Teacher: No listen carefully. if i gave you 2 rabbits, another 2 rabbits and another 2 rabbits how many will you have?
Paddy: Seven.
Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If i gave you 2 apples, another 2 apples and another 2, how many would you have?
Paddy: 6
Teacher: Good, now if I gave you 2 rabbits, another 2 rabbits and another 2 rabbits, how many would you have?
Paddy: Seven!!
Teacher: Where the hell do you get seven from?
Paddy: I already have one at home!

 


Four wheels drives the body - Two wheels drives the soul

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View hamge's Profile hamge Flag Southampton 16 Nov 09 9.20am Send a Private Message to hamge Add hamge as a friend

This post has been merged from a topic called 'Paddy at school' by Cucking Funt

lol

 

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View Cannonball's Profile Cannonball Flag High in the Ozarks. 19 Nov 09 8.46pm Send a Private Message to Cannonball Add Cannonball as a friend

A new supermarket opened where I live.

It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.

Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mowed hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.

I don't buy toilet paper there any more.


 


Touch my coffee and I will slap you so hard even Google won't be able to find you.

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View Johnny Eagles's Profile Johnny Eagles Flag berlin 02 Dec 09 8.39pm Send a Private Message to Johnny Eagles Add Johnny Eagles as a friend

What do you call a disabled chinese baby?

Sum Ting Wong

 


...we must expand...get more pupils...so that the knowledge will spread...

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Don Rogers Tache Flag hanging around the local Taco Bell... 03 Dec 09 6.10pm

I'm not normally suspicious, but yesterday the wife told me Gavin from Autoglass came round and injected his special resin into her crack. She hasn't even got a f***ing car...

 


I know you are but what am I?

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View Cannonball's Profile Cannonball Flag High in the Ozarks. 10 Dec 09 12.16pm Send a Private Message to Cannonball Add Cannonball as a friend

Poor old Santa Claus has a crap sexlife..He only comes once a year-and that's down a chimney !

 


Touch my coffee and I will slap you so hard even Google won't be able to find you.

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