LONDON LAWYER V GLASGOW

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.

He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cop’s expense!!

Glasgow cop says, " Licence and registration, please."

London Lawyer says, "What for?"

Glasgow cop says, "Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Glasgow cop says, "Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. Licence and Registration, Please.”

London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Glasgow cop says, "The difference is, ye havtae to come to a complete stop, that's the law. Licence and registration, please!"

London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my licence and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

Glasgow cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."

The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the hell out of the lawyer and says, "Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow doon?"

Supporting Crystal Palace since 19.45 on 29th August 1972 (approximately)!

This post has been merged from a topic called 'Scotch eggs' by SloveniaDave

Kermit8 and hibby stu are scotch eggs!!!

This post has been merged from a topic called 'onions' by SloveniaDave

Which silly fool said you should peel onions under water to stop them making your eyes run?I nearly drowned because I cant hold my breath for more than two minutes.

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize last night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and
the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

Love it!

Most certainly not European.

Pinch me, I'm dreaming, but if it is don't let me know.