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I say,I say ,I say.....crap joke thread! (LOCKED)

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rednblueblood 29 Jun 12 10.37pm Send a Private Message to rednblueblood Add rednblueblood as a friend

Never trust a dwarf who says your wife's hair smells nice!

 


In dog beers I’ve only had one.

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dingdong Flag bognor regis 01 Jul 12 10.53am Send a Private Message to dingdong Add dingdong as a friend

i wouldnt say my wife was a slag but even her knickers say next

 

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lanzarote ron Flag East Grinstead 02 Jul 12 11.29pm Send a Private Message to lanzarote ron Add lanzarote ron as a friend

I just got back from a holiday in Thailand and came that close to shagging a ladyboy.

Looked like a woman, spoke like a woman, walked like a woman and kissed like a woman.

It was only when she was driving me back to her place and reverse parked into a narrow parking space with no problem, I thought...

Just a f***ing minute...

 


When you're dead you don't know you're dead.

It is difficult only for the others.

It's the same when you're stupid.

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eagle52 Flag Shirley,Croydon 03 Jul 12 11.05am Send a Private Message to eagle52 Add eagle52 as a friend

It's true about fruit being good for constipation.I just got my bill from Orange and sh*t myself.

 

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Johnny Eagles Flag berlin 06 Jul 12 9.21am Send a Private Message to Johnny Eagles Add Johnny Eagles as a friend

According to a recent survey, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang-rape.

 


...we must expand...get more pupils...so that the knowledge will spread...

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becky Flag over the moon 09 Jul 12 2.33pm Send a Private Message to becky Holmesdale Online Elite Member Add becky as a friend

A man walks into a pub and orders a pint. As he sits there, quietly enjoying his beer, a voice says "Oh man, you do look good today,and that aftershave smells wonderful, so glad you came in here".

Suddenly another voice from behind him says "What? look at the state of him, looks like his hair was cut with garden shears and as for that outfit he's wearing....!".

At this, the Landlord comes over and says to the, by now rather bemused, man, "Sorry about that! The bar snacks are complimentary, but the fruit machine is out of order"..........

 


A stairway to Heaven and a Highway to Hell give some indication of expected traffic numbers

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eagle52 Flag Shirley,Croydon 10 Jul 12 8.39pm Send a Private Message to eagle52 Add eagle52 as a friend

British Rail are lying b*st*rds,they say if you stand too close to the platform edge you'll get sucked off.Eight hours,eight bl**dy hours I've wasted today.

 

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eagle52 Flag Shirley,Croydon 10 Jul 12 8.42pm Send a Private Message to eagle52 Add eagle52 as a friend

Medical fact.If a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day it increases the chance of a stroke.If you let her finish the bottle she'll probably suck it as well.!

 

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Seth Flag On a pale blue dot 12 Jul 12 5.51pm Send a Private Message to Seth Add Seth as a friend

Deleted as not very funny.

Edited by Seth (13 Jul 2012 10.36am)

 


"You can feel the stadium jumping. The stadium is actually physically moving up and down"
FA Cup MOTD 24/4/16

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eagle52 Flag Shirley,Croydon 13 Jul 12 10.38am Send a Private Message to eagle52 Add eagle52 as a friend

I went to see the company nurse with a rash on my testicles.She said I had to stop w*nking.I said "Why"?The nurse said "I'm trying to examine you."

 

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lanzarote ron Flag East Grinstead 13 Jul 12 6.24pm Send a Private Message to lanzarote ron Add lanzarote ron as a friend

After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find that the Titanic’s swimming pool was still full

 


When you're dead you don't know you're dead.

It is difficult only for the others.

It's the same when you're stupid.

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nutty john cpfc Flag bridport dorset 13 Jul 12 6.34pm

mary had a little lamb it stepped on a pylon 40'000 volts shot up its arse now its wool is nylon.

 


off to my mums funeral today keen palace fan sadly missed

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