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July 3 2022 6.24am

I say,I say,I say......crap joke thread #2

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View Nicholas91's Profile Nicholas91 Flag The Democratic Republic of Kent 16 Feb 22 5.19pm Send a Private Message to Nicholas91 Add Nicholas91 as a friend

Originally posted by monkey

That’s including foreplay though

I bought a DVD called 'how to improve your foreplay' the other day.

Was pretty good although I had to fast forward through the boring bits at the beginning.

 


Here's to you the famous red and blue.....

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View monkey's Profile monkey Flag Sittingbourne,Kent/Made in Bromley 16 Feb 22 6.24pm Send a Private Message to monkey Add monkey as a friend

Originally posted by Nicholas91

I bought a DVD called 'how to improve your foreplay' the other day.

Was pretty good although I had to fast forward through the boring bits at the beginning.

 

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View monkey's Profile monkey Flag Sittingbourne,Kent/Made in Bromley 16 Feb 22 9.20pm Send a Private Message to monkey Add monkey as a friend

Just been diagnosed with the dreaded ‘Peek-a-Boo virus’...

I’m being transferred to ICU.

 

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View viveasheagle's Profile viveasheagle Flag perth 17 Feb 22 4.08am Send a Private Message to viveasheagle Add viveasheagle as a friend

Originally posted by monkey

Just been diagnosed with the dreaded ‘Peek-a-Boo virus’...

I’m being transferred to ICU.

Edited by viveasheagle (17 Feb 2022 4.09am)

 

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View Nicholas91's Profile Nicholas91 Flag The Democratic Republic of Kent 17 Feb 22 3.41pm Send a Private Message to Nicholas91 Add Nicholas91 as a friend

My grief councillor died yesterday.

Luckily he was so good I didn't give a 5h!t.

 


Here's to you the famous red and blue.....

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View mezzer's Profile mezzer Flag Main Stand, Block F, Row 20 seat 1... 23 Feb 22 4.38pm Send a Private Message to mezzer Add mezzer as a friend

I've just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I'll let you know

 


Living down here does have some advantages. At least you can see them cry.

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View mezzer's Profile mezzer Flag Main Stand, Block F, Row 20 seat 1... 23 Feb 22 4.39pm Send a Private Message to mezzer Add mezzer as a friend

The inventor of predictive text died this week.

Restaurant In Peace.

 


Living down here does have some advantages. At least you can see them cry.

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View mezzer's Profile mezzer Flag Main Stand, Block F, Row 20 seat 1... 23 Feb 22 4.42pm Send a Private Message to mezzer Add mezzer as a friend

I was at home the other day when a burglar burst into the room and demanded my wallet.

I laughed in his face and said "Alexa, get me the police."

Next thing I know I had no wallet and all I could hear was Sting singing Roxanne.

 


Living down here does have some advantages. At least you can see them cry.

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View Palace Old Geezer's Profile Palace Old Geezer Flag Midhurst 23 Feb 22 5.05pm Send a Private Message to Palace Old Geezer Add Palace Old Geezer as a friend

Originally posted by mezzer

I was at home the other day when a burglar burst into the room and demanded my wallet.

I laughed in his face and said "Alexa, get me the police."

Next thing I know I had no wallet and all I could hear was Sting singing Roxanne.

Should've said 'Alexa, get me Des O'Connor'. That'll have got rid of him.

 


Dad and I watched games standing on the muddy slope of the Holmesdale Road end. He cheered and I rattled.

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View BlueJay's Profile BlueJay Flag UK 10 Mar 22 9.56pm Send a Private Message to BlueJay Add BlueJay as a friend

Our divorce was amicable; we split the house 50/50. She got the inside.

 

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View rednblueblood's Profile rednblueblood 13 Mar 22 9.20am Send a Private Message to rednblueblood Add rednblueblood as a friend

I heard it’s really difficult to get a job at Citroen, apparently you need 2CV’s

 


Member of the “Dazza” appreciation society since 2006

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View Midlands Eagle's Profile Midlands Eagle Flag 13 Mar 22 10.24am Send a Private Message to Midlands Eagle Add Midlands Eagle as a friend

Originally posted by BlueJay

Our divorce was amicable; we split the house 50/50. She got the inside.

You may find that amusing but when I split from my first wife she divided everything up between us and she kept all of the saucepans but gave me the lids. I kid you not

 

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