Regale me with your tales of failure with women...
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 kingdowieonthewall  Sussex, ex-Cronx. 04 Aug 09 5.32pm |
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Quote A_JsShorts at 30 Jul 2009 1:14am
These stories are f***ing aces
Kids,tired of being bothered by your pesky parents? |
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| dannyh wherever I lay my hat....... 04 Aug 09 5.42pm |
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Quote fubar at 03 Aug 2009 10:16pm
Quote Jim'll Fist It For U at 03 Aug 2009 10:10pm
Quote fubar at 03 Aug 2009 9:58pm
Come on you will like it.
Edited by Jim'll Fist It For U (03 Aug 2009 10:10pm) Dunno Jim, I've tried my best lines and they're just not working. At times like this a man can only do one thing - rediscover the thrill of accumulating an illicit and huge porno collection. One word "Rohypnol"
Edited by dannyh (04 Aug 2009 5:43pm)
"It's not the bullet that's got my name on it that concerns me; it's all them other ones flyin' around marked 'To Whom It May Concern.'" |
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| The White Horse 05 Aug 09 2.57pm |
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nickkris's tale reminded me about a story I once heard about a guy whose parents had a house party for their anniversary/a birthday or something. Apparently dozens of friends and family were in attendance and sleeping arrangements weren't made clear beforehand. So after much alcohol consumption, the lad in question decided to call it a night, making his way to the bedroom he slept in as a child. He texted where he was sleeping to his girlfriend, who he'd lost during the party. His dad was crashed out on his old bed however, so he went and slept in his parents' room. In the morning, he wakes as he always does, rolling over to have a little bit of a grope and a kiss with his girlfriend to start the day. Still groggy, he turns her head towards his to wake her up and starts to kiss her before opening his eyes... To see it was his mum. Edited by The White Horse (05 Aug 2009 2:59pm)
"The fox has his den. The bee has his hive. The stoat, has, uh... his stoat-hole... but only man chooses to make his nest in an investment opportunity.” Stewart Lee |
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 A_JsShorts 05 Aug 09 3.04pm |
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Quote kingdowieonthewall at 04 Aug 2009 5:32pm
Quote A_JsShorts at 30 Jul 2009 1:14am
These stories are f***ing aces
I don't have any failure stories I don't think. I have embarressing ones, but not failures.
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| fubar 05 Aug 09 3.06pm | |
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Quote A_JsShorts at 05 Aug 2009 3:04pm
Quote kingdowieonthewall at 04 Aug 2009 5:32pm
Quote A_JsShorts at 30 Jul 2009 1:14am
These stories are f***ing aces
I have embarressing ones, but not failures. the difference between male and female highlighed perfectly
too far gone.. aint no way back this post was sponsored by fubar.com |
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| twells eagle Tunbridge Wells 05 Aug 09 3.47pm |
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I was once at a wedding up north and the grooms canadian cousin was there.. we were all having a good time getting wasted on the free booze when we decided to go in to Preston.. i should have realised it wasn't gonna work out when she tripped over thin air on the way to the taxi!! Anyway, we were too late to get in to any clubs so we came straight back, i invited her to our hotel, we had a drink in the bar then i took her upstairs. the guy who i was sharing a room with kindly waited in the bar for me to make my deposit. When we got to the room we started talking, kissed a bit then i went to unbutton her blouse and she said calm as you like.. "we're not having sex!" to which i replied, "oh, no thats fine, no pressue" and we then proceeded to fall asleep... i was awoken about an hour later by my room mate smashing on the door trying to get in.. i think he was more disappointed than I when he saw that we'd just been sleeping whilst he'd slumbed it on the couch downstairs. It took me a long time to get over the nickname cuddles..
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| fubar 05 Aug 09 4.24pm | |
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Quote twells eagle at 05 Aug 2009 3:47pm
I was once at a wedding up north and the grooms canadian cousin was there.. we were all having a good time getting wasted on the free booze when we decided to go in to Preston.. i should have realised it wasn't gonna work out when she tripped over thin air on the way to the taxi!! Anyway, we were too late to get in to any clubs so we came straight back, i invited her to our hotel, we had a drink in the bar then i took her upstairs. the guy who i was sharing a room with kindly waited in the bar for me to make my deposit. When we got to the room we started talking, kissed a bit then i went to unbutton her blouse and she said calm as you like.. "we're not having sex!" to which i replied, "oh, no thats fine, no pressue" and we then proceeded to fall asleep... i was awoken about an hour later by my room mate smashing on the door trying to get in.. i think he was more disappointed than I when he saw that we'd just been sleeping whilst he'd slumbed it on the couch downstairs. It took me a long time to get over the nickname cuddles.. I guess thats better then being called rapist b****** scum though...
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| bomber81 Essex 05 Aug 09 4.37pm |
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a few years ago i met this bird in southampton whilst on a mates stag do, im not gonna big her up as she wasnt stunning but at the same time wasnt a complete rotta. Anyway after spending the night chatting she asked if i wanted to go back to the flat she shared with another girl that my mates had been trying to chat up, of course i accepted. about half hour after we had moved to her bedroom i was down between her legs whilst doing the deed when her flat mate burst through her door still asleep and asked if we were using the butter!! it didnt stop me just thought i would share a rather amusing story
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| fubar 05 Aug 09 4.58pm | |
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Quote bomber81 at 05 Aug 2009 4:37pm
a few years ago i met this bird in southampton whilst on a mates stag do, im not gonna big her up as she wasnt stunning but at the same time wasnt a complete rotta. Anyway after spending the night chatting she asked if i wanted to go back to the flat she shared with another girl that my mates had been trying to chat up, of course i accepted. about half hour after we had moved to her bedroom i was down between her legs whilst doing the deed when her flat mate burst through her door still asleep and asked if we were using the butter!! it didnt stop me just thought i would share a rather amusing story she was a -ahem- 'Marlon Brando' fan then?
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Don Rogers Tache  hanging around the local Taco Bell... 05 Aug 09 5.01pm |
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Quote bomber81 at 05 Aug 2009 4:37pm
a few years ago i met this bird in southampton whilst on a mates stag do, im not gonna big her up as she wasnt stunning but at the same time wasnt a complete rotta. Anyway after spending the night chatting she asked if i wanted to go back to the flat she shared with another girl that my mates had been trying to chat up, of course i accepted. about half hour after we had moved to her bedroom i was down between her legs whilst doing the deed when her flat mate burst through her door still asleep and asked if we were using the butter!! it didnt stop me just thought i would share a rather amusing story Plain toast for breakfast next morning then?
I know you are but what am I? |
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| Southampton_Eagle At the after party 05 Aug 09 5.20pm |
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Southampton birds are in to anal, Brando & butter. Fact. I've abided by the 'I promise I won't spunk in your mouth' line, shame for her she had pink eye for a week. Too many failures to list, due to being very shy as a kid but I did have a relationship break up through drinking too much whiskey & pissing up an ex's back. I've also taken a sh*t in a wardrobe when drunkingly purchasing a night in a B&B to romance a lady & couldn't be arsed to find the communal toilet.
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| kingdowieonthewall Sussex, ex-Cronx. 05 Aug 09 5.56pm |
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Quote A_JsShorts at 05 Aug 2009 3:04pm
Quote kingdowieonthewall at 04 Aug 2009 5:32pm
Quote A_JsShorts at 30 Jul 2009 1:14am
These stories are f***ing aces
I don't have any failure stories I don't think. I have embarressing ones, but not failures.
Kids,tired of being bothered by your pesky parents? |
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