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I say,I say ,I say.....crap joke thread! (LOCKED)
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 rednblueblood 29 Jun 12 10.37pm |
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Never trust a dwarf who says your wife's hair smells nice!
In dog beers I’ve only had one. |
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dingdong  bognor regis 01 Jul 12 10.53am |
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i wouldnt say my wife was a slag but even her knickers say next
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| lanzarote ron East Grinstead 02 Jul 12 11.29pm |
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I just got back from a holiday in Thailand and came that close to shagging a ladyboy. Looked like a woman, spoke like a woman, walked like a woman and kissed like a woman. It was only when she was driving me back to her place and reverse parked into a narrow parking space with no problem, I thought... Just a f***ing minute...
When you're dead you don't know you're dead. It is difficult only for the others. It's the same when you're stupid. |
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| eagle52 Shirley,Croydon 03 Jul 12 11.05am |
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It's true about fruit being good for constipation.I just got my bill from Orange and sh*t myself.
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Johnny Eagles  berlin 06 Jul 12 9.21am |
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According to a recent survey, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang-rape.
...we must expand...get more pupils...so that the knowledge will spread... |
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 becky over the moon 09 Jul 12 2.33pm |
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A man walks into a pub and orders a pint. As he sits there, quietly enjoying his beer, a voice says "Oh man, you do look good today,and that aftershave smells wonderful, so glad you came in here". Suddenly another voice from behind him says "What? look at the state of him, looks like his hair was cut with garden shears and as for that outfit he's wearing....!". At this, the Landlord comes over and says to the, by now rather bemused, man, "Sorry about that! The bar snacks are complimentary, but the fruit machine is out of order"..........
A stairway to Heaven and a Highway to Hell give some indication of expected traffic numbers |
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| eagle52 Shirley,Croydon 10 Jul 12 8.39pm |
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British Rail are lying b*st*rds,they say if you stand too close to the platform edge you'll get sucked off.Eight hours,eight bl**dy hours I've wasted today.
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| eagle52 Shirley,Croydon 10 Jul 12 8.42pm |
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Medical fact.If a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day it increases the chance of a stroke.If you let her finish the bottle she'll probably suck it as well.!
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Seth  On a pale blue dot 12 Jul 12 5.51pm |
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Deleted as not very funny. Edited by Seth (13 Jul 2012 10.36am)
"You can feel the stadium jumping. The stadium is actually physically moving up and down" |
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| eagle52 Shirley,Croydon 13 Jul 12 10.38am |
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I went to see the company nurse with a rash on my testicles.She said I had to stop w*nking.I said "Why"?The nurse said "I'm trying to examine you."
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| lanzarote ron East Grinstead 13 Jul 12 6.24pm |
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After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find that the Titanic’s swimming pool was still full
When you're dead you don't know you're dead. It is difficult only for the others. It's the same when you're stupid. |
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| nutty john cpfc bridport dorset 13 Jul 12 6.34pm |
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mary had a little lamb it stepped on a pylon 40'000 volts shot up its arse now its wool is nylon.
off to my mums funeral today keen palace fan sadly missed |
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