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September 27 2020 3.47am

I say,I say,I say......crap joke thread #2

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View Charlie Croker's Profile Charlie Croker Flag Hampshire 19 Mar 20 2.41pm Send a Private Message to Charlie Croker Add Charlie Croker as a friend

Who was the first composer to catch Corona virus?


Drycoughski

 


And me old mucker Colin, with his gelled up flat-top and his GTi, XR3, 4, 5, 6 & 7, GT, iS, Esprit, Cabriolet, Ghia, Turbo 4+4 . . .

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View rednblueblood's Profile rednblueblood 29 Mar 20 7.25am Send a Private Message to rednblueblood Add rednblueblood as a friend

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DDF76945-EC32-434F-A688-4C377C74F011.jpeg Attachment: DDF76945-EC32-434F-A688-4C377C74F011.jpeg (49.87Kb)

 


Killing threads on here since 2005

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View BudgiesBeak's Profile BudgiesBeak Flag London 14 Apr 20 8.32pm Send a Private Message to BudgiesBeak Add BudgiesBeak as a friend

Earlier today I told the missus that I was bored being stuck in the house all day because of the lockdown.
She said "Why don't you make a bird table?"
So I did. Now she's angry because I only put her in 5th place.

 

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View BudgiesBeak's Profile BudgiesBeak Flag London 08 Jun 20 1.43pm Send a Private Message to BudgiesBeak Add BudgiesBeak as a friend

"I wish I'd listened to the advice my old dad gave me when I was a boy."
"What was that?"
"I don't know, I wasn't listening."

 

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View BudgiesBeak's Profile BudgiesBeak Flag London 02 Aug 20 6.07pm Send a Private Message to BudgiesBeak Add BudgiesBeak as a friend

A man goes into a pub with an alligator under his arm. "Do you serve Brighton fans here?" he asks. "Certainly sir, no problem at all," replies the barman, nervously staring at the alligator.
"OK," says the man, "A pint of lager for me and a Brighton fan for the alligator."

 

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View Pete53's Profile Pete53 Flag Hassocks 02 Aug 20 10.41pm Send a Private Message to Pete53 Add Pete53 as a friend

I went to the hairdressers the other day. I asked him to cut my hair like Tom Cruise, so he put a big cushion on the barber's chair.

 

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View BudgiesBeak's Profile BudgiesBeak Flag London 30 Aug 20 3.31pm Send a Private Message to BudgiesBeak Add BudgiesBeak as a friend

Me and the missus are in the iron and steel business. She does the ironing, I do the stealing.

 

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View BudgiesBeak's Profile BudgiesBeak Flag London 17 Sep 20 10.33am Send a Private Message to BudgiesBeak Add BudgiesBeak as a friend

"Doctor, I think I'm going deaf."
"Describe the symptoms."
"Well - Homer's the middle-aged dad with the bald head and pot belly, Marge is his wife with the tall blue hair, Bart is their bratty son with the spiky hair..."

 

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View Zimeagle's Profile Zimeagle Flag Harare 23 Sep 20 3.29pm Send a Private Message to Zimeagle Add Zimeagle as a friend

The inventor of the sexual innuendo has sadly passed away today

His wife is taking it really hard.

 

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View Daddyorc's Profile Daddyorc Flag Long Island City, NY 23 Sep 20 4.13pm Send a Private Message to Daddyorc Add Daddyorc as a friend

Man walks into the kitchen and tells his wife to follow him into the living room.

He walks in and sits down on the couch and puts his arm around a chicken. He then says "Honey, this is the pig I've been sleeping with".

His wife says "You idiot, that's a chicken!".

Man says "I wasn't talking to you!"

 

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View BlueJay's Profile BlueJay Flag UK 25 Sep 20 3.12am Send a Private Message to BlueJay Add BlueJay as a friend

I went to the doctors recently

He said: “Don’t eat anything fatty”

I said: “What, like bacon and burgers?”

He said, “No. fatty don’t eat anything.”

 

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View BlueJay's Profile BlueJay Flag UK 25 Sep 20 3.13am Send a Private Message to BlueJay Add BlueJay as a friend

Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?

Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat

 

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