You are here: Home > Message Board > General Talk > I say,I say,I say......crap joke thread #2
February 27 2020 8.13pm

I say,I say,I say......crap joke thread #2

Previous Topic | Next Topic


Page 34 of 34 « First< 30 31 32 33 34

 

View BudgiesBeak's Profile BudgiesBeak Flag London 19 Oct 19 11.32pm Send a Private Message to BudgiesBeak Add BudgiesBeak as a friend

“Will I be OK, doctor?”
“I doubt it, Mercury is in Uranus right now.”
“I don’t do all that astrology stuff.”
“Me neither, my thermometer just broke!”

 

Alert Alert a moderator to this post Edit this post Quote this post in a reply
View BudgiesBeak's Profile BudgiesBeak Flag London 25 Dec 19 10.55pm Send a Private Message to BudgiesBeak Add BudgiesBeak as a friend

Did I ever tell you the last words my father said to me before he kicked the bucket?
He said, “Son, watch how far I can kick this bucket.”

 

Alert Alert a moderator to this post Edit this post Quote this post in a reply
View johnno42000's Profile johnno42000 Flag 30 Dec 19 8.26pm Send a Private Message to johnno42000 Add johnno42000 as a friend

Life isn't fair. I beat an egg then got thyme for it.

 


'Lies to the masses as are like fly's to mollasses...they want more and more and more'

Alert Alert a moderator to this post Edit this post Quote this post in a reply
View BudgiesBeak's Profile BudgiesBeak Flag London 12 Feb 20 6.59pm Send a Private Message to BudgiesBeak Add BudgiesBeak as a friend

What's got 8 legs and one eye?
Two chairs and half a pig's head.

 

Alert Alert a moderator to this post Edit this post Quote this post in a reply
View palace_in_frogland's Profile palace_in_frogland Flag In a broken dream 13 Feb 20 7.57pm Send a Private Message to palace_in_frogland Add palace_in_frogland as a friend

I was chatting with a diver the other day. I asked him why they always fell backwards off the boat.

He thought about it, and said “well, if we fell forwards, we’d still be in the boat.”

 

Alert Alert a moderator to this post Edit this post Quote this post in a reply
View Forest Hillbilly's Profile Forest Hillbilly Flag in a hidey-hole 13 Feb 20 8.02pm Send a Private Message to Forest Hillbilly Add Forest Hillbilly as a friend

what is brown and sticky,.....?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
. a stick

 


,.,.,..,

Alert Alert a moderator to this post Edit this post Quote this post in a reply
View HeathMan's Profile HeathMan Flag Purley 15 Feb 20 12.09am Send a Private Message to HeathMan Holmesdale Online Elite Member Add HeathMan as a friend

Hopefully the copy and paste works. sadly drawings have not come across

Murphy, a furniture dealer from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.

After arriving in Paris, he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine.

as he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.

Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French (which Murphy could not understand), so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down.

He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music.

They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing.
She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

To this day, Murphy has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.

 

Alert Alert a moderator to this post Edit this post Quote this post in a reply

 

Page 34 of 34 « First< 30 31 32 33 34

Previous Topic | Next Topic

You are here: Home > Message Board > General Talk > I say,I say,I say......crap joke thread #2