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March 5 2024 4.06am

I say,I say ,I say.....crap joke thread! (LOCKED)

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View Southampton_Eagle's Profile Southampton_Eagle Flag At the after party 22 Mar 09 2.43pm Send a Private Message to Southampton_Eagle Add Southampton_Eagle as a friend

What do you call a judge with no thumbs? Justice Fingers.

 

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View robert_punk's Profile robert_punk Flag Edenbridge 24 Mar 09 12.25am Send a Private Message to robert_punk Add robert_punk as a friend

This website! It's crap and it's a joke! Someone red card me please!

Actually that's not fair. The website is fine just some of the users are jokes and full of crap. Red card me please, can't be f***ed to work out how to delete the account!

 


don't you just hate it when people write things they think are really clever here?

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Kenny Lunt Flag Somewhere a whole lot better than ... 24 Mar 09 10.17am

Man Utd's excuse for Saturday

 

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View J F Pants's Profile J F Pants Flag south norwood 24 Mar 09 12.08pm Send a Private Message to J F Pants Add J F Pants as a friend

Chap with no arms and legs waiting at a bus stop.
Bloke says to him;
"How're you getting on?"

 


The problem with common sense is that it is not very common.

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View Mr Statto's Profile Mr Statto Flag Ifield 24 Mar 09 12.30pm Send a Private Message to Mr Statto Add Mr Statto as a friend

A blind man with no arms & only one leg is waiting at the bus stop. The conductor says "Aye aye, you look 'armless, hop on"

 


That's just the ramblings of a madman

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View Jonathan's Profile Jonathan Flag West Hampstead 24 Mar 09 2.08pm Send a Private Message to Jonathan Add Jonathan as a friend

Whats the difference between jam and marmalade?

You can't marmalade your cock up a girls arse.

Sean Lock.

 


19/12/06
i was there.

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Kenny Lunt Flag Somewhere a whole lot better than ... 25 Mar 09 11.58am

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two
visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing
'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned 49.)

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't
resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'

He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'
Oh no,' I replied... 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?


'I said, 'Not much... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'

'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing
golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'

'No, I don't,' I said.

He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of s*x?'
'No,' I said.

He looked at me and said,... 'Then, why do you even
give a sh!t?

 

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View Cucking Funt's Profile Cucking Funt Flag Clapham on the Back 25 Mar 09 2.38pm Send a Private Message to Cucking Funt Add Cucking Funt as a friend

Quote robert_punk at 24 Mar 2009 12:25am

This website! It's crap and it's a joke! Someone red card me please!

Actually that's not fair. The website is fine just some of the users are jokes and full of crap. Red card me please, can't be f***ed to work out how to delete the account!


Like the Hotel California, you can check out any time you like but you can never leave.

 


Wife beating may be socially acceptable in Sheffield, but it is a different matter in Cheltenham

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View Pendragon's Profile Pendragon Flag Woking 25 Mar 09 11.29pm Send a Private Message to Pendragon Add Pendragon as a friend

Whats the difference between a " lady of the night " and a Cadburys cream egg?

It only cost 44p to lick out a cream egg

Knock knock

whos there

Scott

Scott who

Scott f**k all to do with you

 


Soar with the eagles or scratch with the chickens

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View Where E@gles D@re's Profile Where E@gles D@re Flag Croydon 31 Mar 09 11.42am Send a Private Message to Where E@gles D@re Add Where E@gles D@re as a friend

Q: How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

A: None

 


Xbox Live Gamer Tag: Cheesegate

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View keith's Profile keith Flag bracknell 01 Apr 09 2.39pm Send a Private Message to keith Add keith as a friend

two cannibals eating some charlton fans, one turns to the other and says; "i tell you what, these go down easy dont they?"!!

 

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View Johnnyeagle's Profile Johnnyeagle Flag Wallington 05 Apr 09 8.55pm Send a Private Message to Johnnyeagle Add Johnnyeagle as a friend

Doctor doctor, I keep thinking I'm a Cowboy!

How long have you felt like that?

Oh, it must be about a YEAHHAAAAAAA!!!!

 


We love you,we love you,we love you and where you play we follow,we follow,we follow, cos we support the Palace, the Palace,the Palace and thats the way we like it,we like,we like it...WOAH,WOAH,WOAH!!!

A winner is a dreamer who never gives up...

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