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May 20 2024 12.56am

I say,I say ,I say.....crap joke thread! (LOCKED)

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View Where E@gles D@re's Profile Where E@gles D@re Flag Croydon 06 Apr 09 2.03pm Send a Private Message to Where E@gles D@re Add Where E@gles D@re as a friend

Jeremy Irons Michael Flatley :-)

 


Xbox Live Gamer Tag: Cheesegate

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Jake d'Eagle Flag in the section labelled 'shirts', ... 16 Apr 09 4.13pm

I bought some camouflage trousers the other day. I got them home, and I haven't seen them since.

 


Put a Glide in your Stride, and Dip in your Hip,
Come on over to the Mothership, baby

[Link] Transformation is Happening


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Don Rogers Tache Flag hanging around the local Taco Bell... 22 Apr 09 11.33am

A pheasant,a quail and a partridge were in a field dressed as clowns....
They were game for a laugh.

 


I know you are but what am I?

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Emyrev Flag 09 May 09 7.51pm

I was staying in a hotel in Yorkshire the other day and while flicking through the TV channels I chanced upon the Regional News on BBC. The headlines consisted of reports of a huge soar in drug-abuse in the area. Apparently, the trend for local drug-takers is the oral injection of amphetamine into the blood stream. This highly dangerous practice was given the name “e by gum” by the local Police Force.


Edited by Emyrev (09 May 2009 9:15pm)

 

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Emyrev Flag 09 May 09 9.15pm

There was a English bloke, a Korean bloke and a Scottish bloke all working for the same building company.
At the start of the day the foreman comes out and says to the English bloke, "You're in charge of the cement."
Then he said to the Scottish bloke, "You're in charge of the gravel."
Then he said to the Korean bloke, "You're in charge of the supplies."
"I'm gonna be back at the end of the day to check on your work. It better be good or you're sacked." The foreman said.
So they all go off to go get their work done.
At the end of the day, the boss comes back to check on their work. He looks at the pile of cement and goes, "That'll do," to the English bloke.
Then he looks at the pile of gravel and says, "Not bad at all," to the Scottish bloke.
Having failed to notice the other worker he asks, "Where the hell is the Korean bloke?"
Suddenly, the Korean bloke jumps out from behind the big pile of cement and shouts, " SUPPLIES!"

Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Two Welshmen chatting away in their local: "What's wrong Dewi? You don't look 'appy this morning."
"It's the bloody wife: she's blinkin' keeping me awake at night dreaming of this driving test she's going to be taking next week the cow. Every single night she grabs hold of my dick and shakes it around like a blinkin' gear stick. She nearly ripped my bell-end off the other day when she went into reverse."
"I've got a great idea Dewi. Next time she starts doing it, flip her over and stick it up her ringpiece -maybe that will stop her from doing it."
That night, Dewi feels his wife clenching his privates so does as his mate suggested, turns her over sticks it up her butt.
"£10 worth of unleaded, please." she says.

 

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View Clint Hill's Profile Clint Hill Flag Bromley 10 May 09 9.18pm Send a Private Message to Clint Hill Add Clint Hill as a friend

What's black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

 

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View Clint Hill's Profile Clint Hill Flag Bromley 10 May 09 9.44pm Send a Private Message to Clint Hill Add Clint Hill as a friend

A man says to his mate, "I've been taking steroids and I've grown an extra cock!"

His mate says, "Anabolic?"

He replies, "No, just a cock"

 

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Don Rogers Tache Flag hanging around the local Taco Bell... 11 May 09 9.49am

I went for a job at a blacksmith's the other day.The blacksmith asked me if I had any experience shoeing horses.I told him I hadn't but I once told a donkey to fark off!!!

 


I know you are but what am I?

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View Clint Hill's Profile Clint Hill Flag Bromley 11 May 09 3.16pm Send a Private Message to Clint Hill Add Clint Hill as a friend

whats the difference between arsenal and ledley king?

ledley king has beat someone this week.

 

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View monkey's Profile monkey Flag Sittingbourne 15 May 09 8.30pm Send a Private Message to monkey Add monkey as a friend

A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man.

"I don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.

"Oh, please come to my house!"

"But sir, I have a wife and four children..."

"Bring them along!" the rich man said.

They all climbed into the limo. Once underway, the poor fellow said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in."

The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall

 

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View Clint Hill's Profile Clint Hill Flag Bromley 22 May 09 5.53pm Send a Private Message to Clint Hill Add Clint Hill as a friend

whats the difference between an in-law and an out-law?

outlaws are wanted

 

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View mr. apollo's Profile mr. apollo Flag Somewhere in Switzerland 29 May 09 2.17pm Send a Private Message to mr. apollo Add mr. apollo as a friend

In deference to The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness, it was announced today that the local climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as English Weather.

Rather than offend a sizable portion of the population, it will now be referred to as Muslim Weather.

In other words - partly Sunni, but mostly Shi'ite.

 



Glad

All

Over

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