There's this woman and she's really ugly, she's so ugly that she can't get a man or get laid no mater what she doe's, she's tried everything to no avail. One day she gets talking to a friend, who informs her that she has a Chineses doctor who can perform miracles. "If he can't solve your problem no one can". So full of hope she goe's for an appointment.

"Please sit" he says "What is ploblem"

"I can't get a man no mater what I do" she says

"OK take off all your clothes" he says

This she does

"Get on hands and knees"

"Now crawl toward me" This she does

"Now turn round, crawl back" This she does

"Now put on your clothes"

She finishes dressing herself and sits down. " Well is there anything wrong with me?" she asks.

"Yes......you have Ed Zakerley disease" he replies

"Ed Zakerley disease....what that?"

"Well no mater which way round you are you look Ed Zakerley the same to me"!!!

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog.

Archie Griffen

Hating Brighton since 1974

That sort of joke is really not meant for this thread Reich!!!!
This is a crap joke thread.Not a sick crap joke thread!

I know you are but what am I?

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Love this...

Dulce et decorum est pro Palace mori

"Gee, you and I oughtta get on swell Mister Burton, as we're both Selts".
"No, I am a Selt. You are a Sunt."

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright

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I was speeding down the motorway at 100mph in my lorry when a motorbike came up along side me.
He looked at me...did a handstand on his bike, then tapped my window.
"You haven't got a fag have you mate?" he said.
"A fag....you're going to f*cking kill yourself!" I shouted.
"No......I only smoke 10 a day," he said.

...we must expand...get more pupils...so that the knowledge will spread...

What's green and smells of pork ?

Kermit's middle finger

bastid...i had just cut that joke to post.

‘Football isn’t instant coffee. You have to work at it. You must grow the bean, grind it.’ Ian Holloway